Am I really going to grow up and be the crabby old person??

**Am I becoming the grumpy old guy at 31, or is the world actually insane?**
I genuinely don’t know if it’s just me getting older, or if my particular life path has completely changed the way I look at people and society.
I’m 31. I’m just a coach. And somehow I feel like I’m already the guy sitting on the porch yelling at the world.
The weird part is that I wasn’t always like this.
As a kid I was *ridiculously* optimistic about people. I was the fat, nice kid. Always respectful, chivalrous, trying to help people. I genuinely believed people were inherently good and that most shitty behavior came from people being misunderstood, hurt, insecure, etc. I carried that belief for YEARS.
And holy shit, life has tested the hell out of it.
My family is a mess. Relationships have fallen apart. I’ve been screwed over by people. I’ve screwed people over myself. I’ve watched people I trusted behave in ways I never thought they would.
And yes, I eventually fucked up badly myself.
I cheated on my girlfriend with multiple women, it all came out, and I heard from basically everyone how terrible of a person I was. And honestly? I understand why. I did something terrible. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
But here’s the weird part.
You’d think after all of that I’d become completely cynical and hate people.
I didn’t.
If anything, coaching kids somehow made me softer.
Working with kids has reminded me that people are still people. They’re messy, they’re immature, they’re scared, they’re trying to figure shit out. I’ve become more aware of my own mistakes and more grounded because of it.
So I still believe people are inherently good or at least capable of good.
**But I am starting to feel like literally every system around us is insane.**
The government. Politics. Corporations. Social media. Influencers. Sports. Gambling being shoved into everything. People driving like they’re trying to kill each other. Coworkers. Jobs. Dating. Family. Scammers stealing elderly people’s life savings. People making millions of dollars manipulating other people’s attention.
And then you look at the environmental situation, technology, AI, wars, misinformation, algorithms, economic pressure, etc.
It’s like… **what the fuck happened?**
We have billions of people living inside systems that none of us individually designed or agreed to.
You are born into a country.
You inherit an economy.
You inherit political institutions.
You inherit social norms.
You inherit technology.
You inherit environmental problems created before you were born.
Then you’re expected to get a job, pay bills, navigate relationships, stay mentally healthy, understand an increasingly complicated world, and somehow act like everything is normal.
And maybe that’s just humanity.
We’ve always been messy and irrational. Maybe I’m just old enough now to actually notice it.
That’s another thing that’s messing with me.
When I was younger, adults seemed like they knew what they were doing.
Now I’m an adult and I’m looking around like:
**Wait… we’re all just figuring this shit out too?**
The people running huge organizations are still just people.
The people with billions of dollars are still just people.
Politicians are people.
Influencers are people.
Coaches are people.
Parents are people.
Everyone is basically improvising their way through existence while pretending they have a plan.
And somehow billions of lives depend on the decisions these people make.
That is absolutely fucking bizarre when you really sit and think about it.
I don’t even necessarily think humanity is doomed. That’s not what I’m saying.
If anything, I still have this stupidly persistent belief that people are capable of being good. That’s probably the one thing life hasn’t managed to beat out of me.
But I’m starting to understand why people become cynical.
Because when you’re young, you see the world you’re *supposed* to see.
Then you get older and start seeing how things actually work.
And sometimes I wonder if the real challenge of adulthood is figuring out how to see all of the bullshit without becoming bullshit yourself.
Maybe that’s what I’m struggling with.
I don’t want to become the bitter old guy who thinks everyone sucks.
But holy shit…
**WHY DOES EVERYONE SUCK SO MUCH SOMETIMES?**
And why does modern life feel like the strangest, most psychologically unnatural version of human existence we’ve ever created?
Maybe this is just what being 31 feels like.
Maybe I’m having an existential crisis.
Maybe I’m becoming the grumpy old guy early.
Or maybe I’m just finally noticing how fucking weird it is that we’re all here in the first place.