BPD symptoms after perceived talking stage failed abruptly about 1-2 years ago.

F(22) Ever since I started college I had someone come up to me for the first time and actually told me what I wanted to hear and do things like compliments, sudden fast interest and immediate quality time every chance I got, with chivalry and taking initiative to chase me, flattered me in a way that gave me an ultimate high, swept me off of my feet and when I wanted reassurance from the person about wanting to spend time with me, I was still satisfied and it turned into an intense passive phase like a crash and burn. I told them personal issues about myself and asked lots and lots of questions. Honestly I ended it by confronting them about why they stopped talking to me and approaching me in class, or not sitting next to me although I didn’t mind if they didn’t, in a kind of demanding demeanor and wanted answers to why they are not giving me their time because they’re ignoring me and being withdrawn. I blew it when I also pressured them by texting even when they showed signs that they ghosted me in person and through text. I immediately asked for their number first time they even talked to me and when they walked me to my bus stop that was close to the school after a few days of beginning to know them it made things worse because it made me fall very hard. Now I feel empty and uncomfortable going to school because in my head I expect them to be there and it sucks because now it feels like I’m in a never ending loop of a strong drug withdrawal that I’ve been taking forever to get off of. My gut is telling me I should get tested for BPD but am afraid that I’m gonna go after the men drug again. Going to college reminds me of the existential dread I had of a fail talking stage that never happened. I keep having thoughts of them to where I expect to see them again at school or even engage. I was very unhealthy mentally when I met them. It’s messing up my ability to function at school as a trigger.