Lost all my kinks

I used to be into a lot of kinks, but after experiencing them against my will I’m disgusted with it. I thought people get kinks from trauma but I lost mine and I don’t feel safe anymore. I don’t trust people the way I did before, it’s like my brain got rewired and I feel confused. Has anyone else experienced something similar? I never thought someone would care so little about actually killing me. My ex would choke me for fun until I’m about to pass out, after I would say no repeatedly. I guess I learned no didn’t mean anything to him after all the things he did to me. Even saying no to sex didn’t stop him.