Leaving, but how?

Hey all. I'm new here, to the community and to attachment styles as a whole. I've been seeing someone for the past year and I believe she may be avoidant.

I have finally decided to step away from this broken dynamic. The question that remains for me is: How?

Not "how can I bring myself to do it", but rather the practical "how shall I best proceed with this". I can't decide whether I should completely remove my attention and disappear, or call to explain why I am leaving. My decision to leave is final, and that's a good place to be overall.

There are a number of red flags that I think should be put forward: I have never met any of her friends or family, never been to her place, have no pictures of her or with her. Been seeing her a year. (Writing that and seeing it in print is so unbelievably embarrassing). Is there even anything to "break"

A little background: Everything went very well for the first 7-8 months. Then a sudden wave of flakiness started. I didn't realize it at first. I accepted the excuses at face value (illness, family emergecies etc.).

Basically, I was late in recognizing the pattern. There was a particularly egregious one, where we had specific plans and I just didn't hear from her all weekend. There were excuses that didn't quite add up. I calmly told her once that I do expect consistency when I'm seeing someone, that I don't like when plans fall through at the last minute. I'm a busy guy.

However once I did notice and address it, I immediately pulled back. I stopped the dinner dates, the gift giving, the weekend plans. She basically had to initiate the plans going forward. Which she did, but she continued to flake even on those. Last weekend, she suggested a plan which sounded really good and intimate. I accepted: she bailed at the very last moment. I have lost count of how many times I have been flaked on in such a short time. Seeing her at all has become almost rare.

The other day we had dinner reservations -the first time we would be seeing each other since the cancelled plan from the week before- she was well over an hour late. I had an event to attend with a hard deadline and so we chatted about 5 minutes and I had to leave.

She texted me a few times since then and I have not replied. I'm not sure if I will.

I realize ghosting is cruel, but I feel like it's the right move for me at this time, though I have moments of compassion where I want to call and "break up". But really, she's checked out of this a long time ago.

I'm a little sad, but Im also embarrassed to have let it get to this point. That I didn't recognize it and walk away sooner. I still care about her and still want her to find love in whatever form that takes for her: it just isn't going to be with me anymore.