I’m 24 and realized I basically have no social life outside of work. How do you actually make friends as an adult?

I’m 24F and this is honestly embarrassing for me to admit, but I basically have one friend. I love her, but she doesn’t live close to me, so I don’t really have anyone local to actually do things with.

I was a military kid, so I moved around constantly growing up. I was always the one leaving. I’ve had genuinely amazing best friends at different points in my life, but eventually we grew apart, and I’ve even had people I once considered my best friends just completely ghost me.

I understand that people grow apart. I know friendships change as you get older. But sometimes it really fucking hurts to look back and realize how many people I’ve loved as friends who just aren’t in my life anymore.

My birthday recently made it hit especially hard. People I used to consider really good friends didn’t even send me a happy birthday text. I know that sounds small, but it made me realize just how disconnected I am from people I once thought would always be in my life.

And now I’m 24 and basically have nobody local.

I’m very introverted, which I think is part of how I ended up here. I genuinely enjoy being home and I need alone time. I don’t need to be surrounded by people constantly. But being introverted isn’t the same as wanting to be lonely.

It can’t just be me and my puppy all the time.

I’m a full-time elementary school teacher, and I genuinely love my coworkers, but most of them are around twice my age. They’ll ask what I did over the weekend, what I do outside of teaching, why I don’t go out, whether I have plans, etc. I know they aren’t trying to make me feel bad, but honestly, it embarrasses me.

Because I don’t know what to say.

I work. I come home. I take care of my puppy. I spend most evenings by myself. Then I get up and go back to work.

And I don’t want that to be my entire life.

I want to be young while I’m young. I want someone to text on a Friday and ask if she wants to get drinks. I want to get dressed up and go out. I want dinners, concerts, shopping trips, girls’ nights, weekend trips, birthdays where people actually show up, or even just someone who will come sit on my couch and talk to me.

I don’t need a huge friend group. Honestly, one or two girls my age who lived nearby and actually wanted to regularly do things together would change my life.

I think what makes this harder is that I’m embarrassed I even have to try to make friends. Downloading Bumble BFF or going to some event specifically because I’m looking for friends makes me feel pathetic, even though logically I know it isn’t. It feels like everyone else got their friend group naturally and somehow I missed that part.

And seeing people my age with established groups makes me feel like I’m watching my 20s happen from the sidelines.

I don’t want to wake up at 30 and realize I spent my entire 20s going to work and coming home because I was too embarrassed or introverted to put myself out there.

So… what do I actually do?

If you’ve ever had to build a social life basically from scratch in your 20s, especially as an introvert, how did you do it? Did Bumble BFF actually lead to real friendships? Did you join something? Start going places alone? How do you get through that horribly awkward stage between meeting someone and becoming the kind of friends who actually text each other and make plans?

I’m ready to try. I just genuinely don’t know where to start.