I’m fucking up at work and I’m concerned about how my bipolar’s going to handle it

For context: I just started a super difficult, super high-stakes healthcare job. Needless to say, I am not rocking it. I’m in training and falling way behind because I can’t move efficiently enough. My boss has lectured me about how badly I’m doing and said I’m falling behind and need to find a way to do better — even though I feel like I’m trying my best and giving it all that I can. I’m not handling it well mentally. I’ve wanted to self harm (and more) but don’t worry, I’m handling that. I’m just concerned this is going to trigger an episode and can’t figure out how to manage my emotions. I’m scared about mania and all it would mean for my life right now. Do you guys have any advice about getting through challenging times while maintaining emotional stability? Thank you in advance, I’m really drowning here.