Lament for No Patch

’Twas the night of the patch, or so we had prayed,

But two hundred fifty long days had been waned;

Not a patch note written, not a hero has changed,

Not a single small number was slightly rearranged.

The players lay restless, exhausted and worn,

For two hundred fifty long days we have mourned;

We opened the launcher, we stared at the screen,

And wondered what “balance” could possibly bring.

The meta grew stale, the builds made dull,

The same cursed strategies continued to lull;

The forums cried out, “Surely Yoshi will see!”

But the patch remained nothing but fantasy.

We beg, O Gabe, to you we pray.

To end our suffering, that’s lasted for days.

Two hundred fifty nights, and still we remain

Waiting for balance through sorrow and pain;

We counted the seasons, we counted the weeks,

And searched for the changes our weary hearts seek;

We watched every Tuesday, each Thursday, each dawn,

Yet somehow the patch notes remained ever gone.

The gameplay grew dusty, the players grew mad,

The balance we once had was beginning to seem bad;

And deep in our hearts, where our optimism lay,

A tiny voice whispered, “Perhaps not today.”

Then out in the darkness there came such a sound,

As thousands of players began looking around.

I sprang from my chair with a heart full of cheer,

“Could it be? Could the patch finally be here?”

I opened the notes with trembling hand,

Prepared to behold Yoshi’s glorious plan.

But there on the screen, to my terrible fright,

Was nothing.

No changes.

We must wait another night

context: not my work but my friend's (they do not have reddit). They wanted to share tho.