just need to vent

for context, im 25 f, on day 7 post op, currently experiencing peak pain, and my pain meds dont seem to be doing much anymore.

my dad came and helped me for the first 4 days post op, then drove home (about 4 hrs away). i live with my best friend. they work full time, but told me they would help me as much as they could when theyre not at work.

yesterday was the worst pain i've experienced thus far- and they had the day off. they chose to spend the whole day with another one of our friends, and didnt get home until 8/9pm. i didnt ask them to come home or help me, as im a very independent person (sometimes to a fault). i ended up not eating much the whole day and majorly struggled to take care of myself. i was a little upset they chose to go out rather than help me the one day they could, when i had expressed how awful i was doing. but then again- i didnt ask for their help so its hard for me to be upset about.

today- i told them i havent been able to eat much and im sick of the sweet options in the house (jello, popsicles, ice cream). i asked if they could make me egg salad, because eggs are something ive been able to eat. theyve seen me eat eggs, pasta, things i have to chew. they agreed to make it, and ive been stuck in bed all day so i wasnt out of bed to give any instructions. but egg salad should be pretty straightforward- right? wrong. they made it completely smooth.. like.. the texture of icing.. they know im autistic, struggle with "mush" texture, and that i have been able to chew.. im just so frustrated, tired, in pain, and sick of not being able to care for myself. i know im picky and particular, and they were just trying to be helpful, but i cant help but feel frustrated. i will probably be going to bed without food again tonight because the thought of eating egg mush makes me want to vomit (already threw up day 2 post op, would rather not experience that again.)

not looking for advice or for people to tell me im spoiled. just want to vent and say im sick of feeling awful and incapable of taking care of myself.