SOS- kindergarten sucks

Hi everyone. I’m looking for some support and experiences from parents who have been through something similar with their child. 😭

My son is almost 6, has ADHD, and just started kindergarten. He is bright, social, and a strong reader, but since starting school he has been having a really difficult time with emotional regulation, impulsivity, frustration tolerance, sensory overwhelm, and keeping his body safe when he becomes dysregulated.

Preschool went relatively well, so the intensity of what we are seeing in kindergarten has caught us off guard. He can have a great morning and then something relatively small, like a difficult transition, peer interaction, sensory overload, or becoming frustrated because he needs help, can send him completely over the edge. There have been incidents of running from the classroom, yelling, hitting/kicking, spitting, or becoming extremely dysregulated. He has been sent to the principal several times, and we have had to pick him up from school. I do not believe the school has a grasp on the disability in spite of him having a 504 plan and continuously uses negative wording to describe his behavior, comments that he is not compliant and does not seem to be interested in finding the cause of the behavior or dying into his disability. I am really discouraged by this and know that no matter what we do, I will not be able to change their mindset on this, which is extremely frustrating and disheartening. It is also worth noting that my son is never aggressive at home and it’s never been aggressive in school before or any other social setting at least not to this extent.

We are working with the school and have requested an FBA and a special education evaluation because our biggest concerns aren’t academic. They are regulation, executive functioning, sensory needs, impulsivity, and his ability to function successfully in the school environment. He currently has a 504 and receives OT support.

We are also now seriously considering medication. His doctor has discussed starting with methylphenidate, but I am nervous about side effects, especially irritability or an emotional “crash” when a stimulant wears off. At the same time, I hate watching him struggle so much when he genuinely seems to want to do well and often understands afterward what he should have done differently.

I would really love to hear from parents whose kids looked similar around age 5–6. Did kindergarten feel like a disaster at first? Did things improve with the right school supports, maturity, therapy, medication, or some combination? If your child started a stimulant this young, did it help with impulsivity and emotional regulation? What was the come-down like?

And maybe most importantly, if your child struggled this much when they were little, how are they doing now?

I think I just need to hear from parents who have been on the other side of this. 😖😖😖