took leave from college, back home, w/no autonomy 😭💗

heyyy guysss idk y I'm postin' but I just feel good today, honestly I've been struggling a lot and I finally have a bit of financial independence which is allowing me to provide for myself and build the life I want to a bit. It makes me feel good and feel like I have momentum and interest in things.

My home life rn is kinda of shitty, I'm basically took a leave from school and have been home since and I'm under constant criticism and lectures unwarranted or with any choice I make to the point where it's eroded and sends me into moments of depression. I'm a really warm bubbly out-going person but being here has eroded me a lot.

I feel like there's too much to put in the post, but I think to sum it up. My parents can provide for me academically, professional support but when it comes to emotional support it's all GGs. I'm just ventin' atp, but I guess under all of this besides the lectures and criticism that erode and demoralize me. I'm hurt because I'm a very motivated, ambitious, proactive person at least I've demonstrated as much in academics. But my parents especially one wants me back in school asap, if she had it her way I wouldn't have left. Any decisions I make that they disagree with I have to face negative consequences from them. But yeah, and a bunch of ultimatums, there's one big one that's hanging over my head. I guess overall I've been suffering from a lack of agency and autonomy that sends me into a deep depressive moments in my mind. (I'm not getting into all the details that are attributing to my lack of autonomy but yea that's overall it)