i';m fcuking spiraling

I was doing better for a while because i tried staying away from social media aside from a bit of youtube but even when watching stuff that has NOTHING TO DO WITH US I STILL FUCKING SEE BIGOTS BRINGING US UP FOR EXISTING and now I find out that here in the US both fucking parties are attacking us for existing and I HATE THIS I HATE EVERYONE I HATE ALL OF THIS WE DID FUCKING NOTHING AND THEY WON'T LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE

It doesn't even fucking matter when I tell bigots that transitioning saved my life they still tell me that I was scammed and that I "destroyed" my body even though I WAS SO HAPPY UNTIL THEY DECIDED TO RUIN OUR LIVES and now my mental and physical health is almost as bad as it was before I transitioned because the majority of Americans are fucking evil and they want to kill us all

Transitioning saved my life but now the world wants to kill me and all trans ppl for it

I can barely leave my house anymore because I'm so scared of getting attacked especially since my ID still says F and I get stared at by strangers especially if my elderly mother isn't right next to me I'm so scared that I'm going to get assaulted and arrested for using the restroom sooner or later

I'm so isolated now because of transphobia., my life was getting so much better when i first started 3-4 years ago but then the last shred of sanity left in America died and everyone got obsessed with us and destroyed my family and now I'm almost completely alone and everyone is so mean to each other all the time now that I'm scared of saying anything i just want to quit this shithole website and i almost managed to but now i'm spiraling and scared and alone and id on't want ot die but everone wants me dead my family hates me exept for my mom but she's old and i'll be completely lallone when shes gone and everyone hates me for beig trans and autistic and disalbled i'm so lonely i dont want to be killed but theres no way the left is goign to win the midterms espcially since democrats are hard rightwing now and any that do win will gleefully pass laws and orders to gkill us because they blame ujs for them losing 2024

i can't go anywhere on tthe internet withoujt seeing people who want us dead and i also hate to deal wtih hatred for being autistic and severely disabled and having jewish heritage even though i;'mn not even a jew ppl like me still get lumped in by antisemites bc they dont know anything abotu jews they just want all dead

I'm so tired of being part of or even vaguely connected to nearly every hated minority group and constantly being blamed for everything going wrong in the world when i grew up poor and can't even work or leave my house how the fuck is anythting my fault i just wanted to be happy and healthy and be an uncle but now i dont know if i;ll stil lbe alive in a few years and i have no one to talk to or depend on because i'm seen as a monster and a burden by the world

i fully expect to get hate for this post too but i dont fuckihng care anymore it doesn't matter where or waht i say I'm hated everywhere I go even when i lasst posted something on reddit it was on a sub for a game i love and i thought it was a nice post about how much of a positive imapct it had on me and i still got so much hate for it that i was forced to delete the post because the hatred wouldn't stop I still don't understand whay that happened because I know posts like that even just 3 years ago would've gotten a positive response but nowadays everyone hates each other now and I'm too muc hof an autistic idiot to know why becasue ppl don't make sense, especailly after 2024 with the far right taking over the world