I was kicked out of my program almost two years ago, here's how my life turned out since then...

Debated about posting this for a while. Going to try to keep it somewhat vague and brief. Throwaway account for privacy.

Hopefully this perspective may help prospective or current PhD students who are seriously questioning themselves. This is a real and true story.

Brief background: US domestic, attended top ~10 in my field (engineering, not CS), first-gen PhD student.

TL;DR: failed quals twice, kicked out of PhD, unemployed for 6+ months, started working in retail, taught for a year, and then started working in industry.

Dramatic title, but what happened was at the end of 2024, I was getting kicked out of my program for failing the qualification exam (other US universities may call it comprehensive/comps, prelims, etc.), the big exam(s) that you take after your 2nd year before entering the next phase of the degree. In short, I failed because I lacked maturity, a sense of direction (why I really wanted the PhD), and was dealing with personal problems that were building up from the past year. I couldn't even leave with a pity degree since my GPA was also in the dumpster so I just withdrew from the university and called it quits. On a positive note, I did leave on good terms with my advisor and lab and still put out some publications.

The next year (last year, 2025) was a whirlwind of emotions. I spent the first half of the year applying to jobs for the first time. Searching for a job in a cooked job market was rough. I was fortunate to even have a few interviews, but none of them ever gave me an offer. I was so desperate for a job that I started looking for minimum wage jobs, but even those were rejecting me. It was truly a very humbling experience. Having to remove my degrees and work experience only to receive a rejection a day after. I felt hopeless, worthless, useless, waste of potential, and that I had let down everyone who helped me get to where I was before. But once I hit rock bottom, the only way to go was up.

Towards the end of the summer I started out working at a retail store. I had to remove my degrees and all of my work and research experience besides some random college gigs and my high school job. It was a job and it at least gave me some sense of routine, even if it was only part time. About a month later, I got an offer to teach at the local community college. I eventually dropped the retail gig soon after. The teaching job was good overall; I got to use my brain again, I got full healthcare, and it was TT. Eventually the new job lost its shine and I realized that I wasn't exactly cut out to teach (at least not long-term yet). It wasn't intellectually stimulating enough for me and I felt that I was doing people management more than anything else.

I started looking for jobs again at the beginning of this year. Also went to a therapist to help navigate this quarter-life crisis. I changed my search space for jobs, which would turn out to be the blessing that I needed. The job market was still very cooked, got tons of rejections, but somehow one turned out to be real. I eventually went through that entire process, stressed myself out too much and waited a very long time, but eventually received the offer.

I've been working at my current industry R&D job for a few months now. The work is similar to what I used to do for research, and I use many of the skills that I learned from my research training. If it wasn't for the research and work that I did during the PhD, I wouldn't have gotten this job. It's definitely a strange way to live my early-mid 20's, but it has helped me have a better understanding of myself and what I want out of my career, even if it didn't go the way that I had originally planned. Do I have any regrets? No. I get good compensation for intellectually satisfying work, I don't have to think about work outside of working hours (unless I want to), and I get plenty of time to do my other hobbies.

Going to end the story here to keep it from dragging on too long. I'd be happy to answer any questions or further explain as much as I can.

Edit: Thanks for all the kind words and support!