Where did it go wrong?

I'm not sure why I got down-votes in my last post; I guess it was pathetic, long, and intrinsically meaningless to someone whose reality isn't this. But I do wonder why not just tell me what was wrong with my post?

Either way, I also ask this question in regards as to why I am still so miserable after helping people.

I fully understand love is one-sided in terms of only you can give but you cannot force people to give back or think that you are now owed something. Thus, it doesn't make sense for me to sit here and expect sunshine and rainbows simply because of the fact I expressed how I felt about someone but even then. What exactly is the point of expressing and deepening a relationship if it's futile?

People die, that's not an unknown fact, and even for the most religious the absence and the misery of it all does not simply go away. Neither does the feeling of looking at someone and wondering what it would feel like to miss them after they're gone, although I'm not entirely sure this is a universal experience.

I know some people are going to quote the old lazy saying regarding the half-empty and half-full cup. I don't care if you sincerely believe that life boils down to the way you view the state of a cup. Believe in whatever you want, but wouldn't you agree that if a person's cup was full to the brim and now lost 50% of its contents the person isn't wrong to say the cup is now half-empty compared to the cup's previous state? And sure they could say the cup used to be full but now is half full but you're still getting to the same point: the cup has lost half of its content even if there's still another half.

Whatever, I'm not going to sit here and argue that much more of our understanding of behavior and thinking are causational. Either way, if you do think this or thought this, comment on it. I just want to generally know what people think beyond basic level "interactions" with a post (voting for one).

So, what's the point? I mean, he's never coming back. I'll never get the bliss of looking at people and not immediately wondering what it will one day feel like to look at their empty space and know that space will never be filled in the same way again.

Maybe I'm just talking nonsense at this point but everything just feels nonsensical after he died so I can't reliably tell you. But is this not similar to reducing harm in a world where it just seems futile.

I know the Buddha thought this was not a reason to simply give up but why?

I guess this is different in the sense that it is possible to reduce the suffering in the world but I don't know if there's anything for my suffering.

What do I do with this? Rebuild it into something meaningful? I'd rather eat shit to be frank. There's nothing meaningful here. It'd just be ridiculous and absurd.

I don't know, maybe I just need to view the glass as half full, nevermind that I filled it with my tears.

I don't know. I guess I am just upset and I want to talk but I hate talking to people I know and talk to everyday.