Christianity is the world's biggest Nigerian Prince scam

Y'all know this one...one day, Karen K. Karenson and her brainless, beer-swilling husband John Q. MAGA Hat get an email out of the blue from someone claiming to be a Nigerian prince who needs their help getting his money through customs. If they give him $1,000 now, he'll give them $1,000,000 later. Why them? Why does he need help from someone much poorer than him? You're not allowed to question royalty, so shut up. And of course, it won't stop at $1,000. If he can get that out of them, he'll ask for more. And more. And they'll keep giving it, and he'll keep promising to give them the money soon, but we all know he's never going to.

Of course, this Coming to America-wannabe motherfucker is small potatoes next to the big fish in the pond, the church. Because mixed metaphors mean I'm right. How much money does the average Christian give to the church over the course of their lives? Ten percent of all of it? More? All the while, the pastor is telling them to give even more. The more money you give to the church now, the bigger your mansion in Heaven will one day be. Although you will end up sharing a bed with a Nigerian prince. Meanwhile, in the here and now, the pastor himself is the one buying himself new Rolexes, new golf clubs and new sports cars, and paying off the parents of the kids he molested, with your money. Why does he get to have a mansion now, and a bigger mansion later, when all you get is the later one? You're not allowed to question holiness, so shut up.