Firstly, the pics are for transparency so you can see who’s giving the advice… I just feel like that’s a helpful context, we all love to harp on the importance of our appearance, but then we just take advice from anyone and we have no idea what they are like. (Giving pics throughout the years bc the below items have worked regardless of my appearance and age)

So what I’d like to do is talk a bit about what has worked for me and hopefully it can help others… bc the less miserable men are out there the better for all of us!

1. Take up the space you’re owed: so what I mean by this is that too often I see guys either shrinking when they are in an environment and ultimately just kinda not standing out… or they try to make themselves seem bigger and that just ends up reeking of false confidence. What you want to do is be comfortable in the space you are, you are allowed to be there! Own it! People will pick up on that energy.

2. You are a catch!: you at least have to feel this way… when you’re in a room you’ve got to think to yourself “I’m the hottest guy here”.

3. You don’t chase… they come to you: if you’re doing the first two things, this step is inherent. You let the attention come to you. You make them make the first move… You’re worth it!

4. No expectations: as soon as you put expectations on an interactions the weight shifts and you all of a sudden have a goal, you have pressure that wasn’t there before.

5. Flirt with everyone: whether you’re into them or not, just do it! It’ll help build your confidence, you will start to read people, you’ll be able to see what works what doesn’t… and it’s fun!

6. Self depreciation isn’t self loathing: playful self depreciation is fun, being a downer is not… none of this “woe is me” stuff. I’ve literally flirted with a woman by telling her I had an extremely small penis, that it was pathetic and she’d laugh at it… we were upstairs only a short time later together. Point is, if you can laugh at yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, it’s very attractive.

7. Always think “be hot”: halloweens coming up? Fight the urge to be some silly costume! Take a note out of the girls playbook… less clothes the better! Grab a hand towel, wrap it into a loin cloth and boom, you’re good.

8. 2% more: when you’re with your friends, think “2% more”. This means attention to your grooming, your clothing, your style… not everything to look like you’re wearing a tux to the bar, but something that makes you stand out amongst your friends.

9. Don’t be afraid to be sensitive, to be emotionally intelligent, to be vulnerable: these are not weaknesses, you’re not there to be the smartest guy in the room, but you are there to be the total package.

10. Be yourself: seriously, if you’re goofy be goofy… don’t be anything you’re not. The things I listed above aren’t personality changes, they are tweaks and mindsets.

Reposting cause formatting got messed up (be nice it’s my first day on Reddit)

Dating as an average guy.