i feel like no one is listening to me

Hi! I have struggled with depression/anxiety for years as related to an inability to do things/regulate my emotions. I have bounced from job to job, can’t stick to one path in college, and cannot for the life of me do ANYTHING it feels like. I wouldn’t even say i feel “depressed”. Like the clinical definition has never fit me imo. Anxiety, sure, but it only started to really get bad this year.
My mother and sister are diagnosed with adhd and ive been struggling majorly with work/school. I saw my new psychiatrist and proposed the idea of getting tested after my therapist questioned if ive ever pursued an evaluation. Adhd honestly wasnt even on my radar until recently and after doing some research, ive never felt more seen reading the symptoms.

Ive been on ssri’s, some for years, since i was
13. They have only worsened my adhd symptoms and made me very angry. The only one that did anything for me was wellbutrin. My former doctor took me off of it when my anxiety got really bad after starting nursing school earlier this year but before that, there wasn’t an issue and i was way more productive.

Because of this, i started buspirone and it literally does nothing but make me super tired. I saw my psychiatrist for the first time a month ago in which i was told that “ssri’s are the gold standard” for people like me and he was very insistent that i just have anxiety.

Tonight, i requested being tested for adhd and he was incredibly against the idea. He told me there was no way i had it, that my inability to start things is due to my anxiety and the fact that ive lost job/been dropped for classes are because the anxiety is too overwhelming for me. He also said since i struggle socially im, that i probably dont have it because “adhd is an inability to focus, it doesn’t affect social life.” I have only had one major episode of anxiety since it initially became prevalent this year and that was due to being dropped from a class for not submitting work. He ended up submitting a referral for neurological psychology but in his referral he said i had “untreated anxiety, worst case scenario affects cognition” (which… mind you ive been medicated and seeing therapists/psychiatrists for 8 years. Its definitely not “untreated”) and had rebound anxiety on ssri’s despite me telling him that ive only experienced worsening depression/focus issues and anger on ssri’s and have never had ‘rebound anxiety’. He put in the referral that he “wants to rule adhd out”. He also did not mention my family history in the referral

I’m worried that the way he worded this referral will have the neuropsych team biased against me. I just want to know. I have been being treated for my mental health and throwing money towards it since i was 13 and am so fucking frustrated and tired. I don’t even care if i end up being wrong, i just want to make sure. Im not questioning his knowledge and abilities but i have only seen him for 2 appointments and he has been very pushy with ssri’s despite me saying i dont want to start any again. He literally will try to tell me how i feel and tells me ssri’s are “gold standard” treatment for me. I ended up leaving with him prescribing me prozac but i dont plan on taking it.

I just feel like my issues as a teenager were brushed off and now theres this narrative in my medical records and no doctor will dig any further after seeing all of this.