My boyfriend (24M) told me (24F) he’s less sexually attracted to me after I lost weight. How do we move forward?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years and live together. Recently we had a conversation about our sex life that has left me questioning what to do.

Over the past while, I’ve lost weight and become leaner. I used to be more voluptuous and had a bigger butt. The important thing is that I genuinely prefer my body now. I still have curves and muscle and feel really attractive at my current size. I have no desire to gain weight just to get my old body back.

Our sex life has become pretty infrequent, despite me having a high sex drive and wanting sex more often. He rarely compliments me, and when he does, it’s surface level stuff and rarely makes me feel particularly desired. When I finally brought this up, he admitted that my weight loss has affected his sexual attraction to me because he prefers me with a bigger butt/more curves.

He says he still loves me and finds me attractive, which is where I’m confused. When we do have sex, he’ll even compliment my butt, but generally I don’t feel like he wants me. It often feels like we’re having sex because he’s horny rather than because he’s specifically dying to have sex with me.

Outside of my relationship, I actually get complimented and hit on fairly often. I don’t need that attention to know I’m attractive, but I’ve noticed myself looking forward to going out because sometimes strangers make me feel more attractive than my own boyfriend does. That realization really sucks.

He has also said that he maintains his muscular physique partly because he knows I like it, whereas he feels like I haven’t maintained the body type he likes. But the difference to me is that he likes being muscular himself. I don’t want to change a body that I currently love just to satisfy his preference.
My bigger concern is the future. I’m 24. My body is going to change throughout my life from aging, possible pregnancy, hormones, weight fluctuations, etc. I want a partner who desires me through those changes, even if attraction naturally fluctuates sometimes.

I’m not expecting him to magically change what he’s attracted to, and I’m definitely not going to change my body for him. But I also don’t want to accept a relationship where I rarely have sex and don’t feel genuinely desired.

I’m planning on telling him that I need more sex, initiation, affection, compliments, and genuine desire in our relationship. But I don’t want him to fake those things just because I’ve asked. Because I’ve had many conversations with him about compliments already.

Has anyone dealt with something similar and actually rebuilt the sexual connection? How long would you give things to improve before considering whether you’re simply sexually incompatible? What do I do?