i don’t think i’m ever going to get married

i know women with adhd that are married but they don’t have it like i do. when i do it it’s different. im not clearly an odd person i mask so heavily i just almost blend in with everyone else but it’s not working. no one ever approaches me and no one ever has. i actually can’t believe that just happens to people. i cannot believe relationships are normal to people because i am so disgsuting no one has ever wanted to be around me. so i had to grow up and teach myself how to socialize because i was not accepted into any normal space where normal people were so i don’t know how to act and what to do and i am never going to get married and ive been single my whole life and i am a waste of resources if no one loves you and wants to be with you why in the actual fuck would you continue to live and convince yourself that that’s okay