I Need To Be Earning More... No Idea How

Hi all,

Quick context: I'm 40, male, married with 4 kids—2 I co-parent with my ex, and 2 I parent with my wife, who lost her first husband to cancer.

I have ~$1.2M in retirement assets and ~$175k in HYSA, mostly the result of living very cheaply and saving 40%+ throughout my 20s and early 30s. That was all pre-divorce, though. Today I earn $68k and live basically break-even on a zero-based budget. It covers the necessities, but leaves very little for groceries beyond the basics, maybe $100/month for eating out with the family or going out with my wife, no new savings, and essentially no discretionary "fun" spending. Every dollar has a job.

I don't want this to be my life for any longer than it absolutely has to be, and I'm trying to think of the best way to change it.

My current job has a promising 3–5 year trajectory that could potentially get me to ~150% of my current income in that timeframe. But I'd like to improve my situation sooner if I can. My oldest is 14, and I don't want to reach a point where I can finally afford the life I'd like to provide after he's already out of the house.

At the same time, I recognize that some of this is the consequence of my own choices. I didn't maximize my earning potential in my 20s and 30s, and I have to live with that. I'm not looking for sympathy so much as trying to figure out what lever I should actually be pulling now.

The life I really picture for myself eventually is pretty different: owning a small farm in the country and writing books about things I've struggled with and learned from—anxiety, depression, divorce, remarriage, blended families, co-parenting, etc. But that's not exactly a short-term cash-flow strategy. It feels more like something I'd pursue after I've done whatever actually solves my cash-flow situation.

I also look at people who built businesses and now have relatively hands-off income and think, "I wish I'd gone that route earlier." But starting a business now isn't obviously easier.

The biggest constraint is time. I'm out of the house around 6 a.m. most days and often don't finish work/kid logistics/homework/lunches/etc. until around 9 p.m. or later Weekends are usually full too. Even one soccer game per kid eats up a lot of the weekend, and there's usually a lot more than that going on.

And I don't want to simply sacrifice my kids' childhood to build something. I'm a co-parent, so I don't have the flexibility a parent in a nuclear family might. During my 50% of parenting time, the kids' activities, homework, meals, etc. are my responsibility, not my wife's. My wife is their stepmom, not their mom, and I think it's important that I actually be present for the time I have with them. Even on days that aren't in my 50%, I try to be present at activities, appointments, etc.

So what would you do in my situation?

• Focus almost entirely on accelerating my career and let my existing ~$1.4M of assets compound in the background?
• Find something I'm genuinely passionate about and figure out how to monetize it?
• Find something practical/boring that can generate additional income?
• Invest in a business that can cash-flow without requiring much of my time?
• Something else entirely?

I'm interested in hearing from people who've been in a similar position—especially people who had a decent asset base but relatively low current income, significant family obligations, and very limited time.