I need help explaining this vivid dreams.

I don’t know if the tag is correct, it’s my first post.

This is a very long text, sorry about that.

Context: Some time ago (approximately 9 months) I met a girl named Alicia (a fake name so I don’t say the real one) in an extracurricular art workshop at my university. She’s from a different major and one year younger than me. We met and introduced ourselves quickly, and we would see each other every Tuesday and Thursday in that space for about 3 months. One day I started following her on Instagram and she followed me back. We started talking and there was quite a bit of chemistry; sometimes we shared ideas of things to do in the art workshop, however, we never actually did any of them. Over time, and without a specific reason, we stopped talking. Time passed and I tried going out with some girls. In the time span from when I met her until now, as I’m writing this on September 29, I went out with a few girls, nothing formal. With one of them I had already tried many months before, and she rejected me. After some time, once I had recovered, I went out with someone from my hometown (I study in a big city, however, I come from a much smaller city 2 or 3 hours away by road), but there was no chemistry; even though we had fun, ate, watched movies and went shopping, I didn’t feel like I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, so little by little I let it go. Shortly after, I met another girl; I went to see one of her music performances in another city. I wanted to ask her out, but she had a boyfriend. Not long after, I started going out with another girl from my city, and it turned out she also had a boyfriend.

These situations frustrated me a lot, because I had just come out of a bad period and I finally felt motivated and felt like I could offer something in a relationship, and just when I’m looking for the first relationship of my life, I can’t make it happen. Faced with this frustration, one night I lay in my bed and, staring at the ceiling, I decided to talk to God. I’m not a person who believes in a specific religion, but I do believe that a higher entity could exist, so I talked to him, her, or it (I’ll call it Tara). That day I asked Tara why, just when I’m looking for a relationship, nothing works. Among my questions and complaints, I went over the girls I had met, from the most recent to the earliest. When I got to Alicia, the girl from the beginning, I realized what a great girl she was, and I started to wonder why we had stopped talking. Even though I couldn’t remember a specific reason, I knew that I was the last one to receive a message; I left her on seen. Because of that, I regretted it a lot at that moment and I couldn’t stop asking Tara, “How can I talk to her again if I’m the one who stopped replying?” In the end, I fell asleep because I had classes the next day.

When I fell asleep, I had a dream that felt way too real:
I was at the biggest mall in the city where I study. It seemed to be December because the song “All I Want for Christmas Is You” was playing over the speakers. I was holding hands with Alicia. We were walking, but I stopped the moment I realized it couldn’t be real, I had gone to sleep in September. Even so, maybe out of curiosity or fear, I decided to play my role in the dream. When she noticed I stopped walking, she asked if I was okay. I replied with whatever. We went to eat at a Carl’s Jr. on the second floor; while we were eating, she told me about her day at the university, the exam she should be studying for instead of going out with me, and how her mom got upset about that. I tried to listen carefully to every word, but I couldn’t stop thinking that, even though everything looked real, felt real, and sounded real, it couldn’t be. When she finished talking, she asked me how my day had been. At that moment I took a bite of my burger to buy time; if I told her about my day, it would be about a day in September, it wouldn’t make sense. So I decided to lie and told her anything about my job as a translator for a video game in development. Although she seemed interested in what I was saying, she didn’t seem to know much about how I did it or the progress, so it was easy to lie. Then we left the mall and in the parking lot she stopped next to a truck, on the passenger side, and said, “Are you going to open it?” At that moment I realized that in my left pocket I had the keys, and I told her, “But I don’t know how to drive,” to which she replied, “But you brought us here.”

At that moment I woke up. It was 5:30 a.m. the next day. I went through my day as I normally would, but I couldn’t get what I had dreamed out of my head. It felt more like a memory of something lived than like a dream. That night when I slept, I dreamed again. This time it was simpler, and when I woke up I forgot many details. In this second dream I went out with her to a meal where my classmates were. When she went to the bathroom, my friends told me I shouldn’t have brought her to a friends’ plan. I don’t remember more. This time it did feel like a dream; I wasn’t aware it was a dream until I woke up.

When I woke up, I went on with my day like any other, but during a free period I went out with two friends to play on the campus courts. We were just throwing a ball between us. At one point one of them said, “Hey, look at that pretty girl.” I turned around and it was her, Alicia, the girl I had been dreaming about for two nights. She looked at me and I just raised my hand to greet her. She didn’t greet me back, so I decided to keep doing my thing. A few minutes later she sent me a message on Instagram, a simple “Hi.” I couldn’t help but think if Tara had heard me or if it was a coincidence. Either way, I was happy. We started talking about anything and catching up. Sometimes we ran into each other on campus and talked, but only a little, since both she and I were with friends. For context about me, I’m a very shy person and usually I feel very embarrassed if my friends see me trying something with a girl, so because of that we didn’t talk much on campus.

About a week after we started talking again, I had another dream, but this one was much more intense:

This time it didn’t start in a setting where I could realize I was dreaming; instead, it started in the bed I had just fallen asleep in. I woke up with my 5:30 a.m. alarm. I got up 15 minutes later. Something felt strange, as if my room were a bit smaller, but only by a few centimeters. I let it pass and took a shower, shaved, had leftover food from the fridge for breakfast, and headed to my university. The day seemed colder than usual and the sun had risen later. By 6:50 a.m. I was already there. The first class started; it was a different topic than what we should have been seeing. The second class, English (I´m from a spanish speaking country), started and the teacher gave us an exam. I didn’t know about it, but I don’t have many problems with the language, so I did it and left the classroom. I waited for my friends and asked them, “When did she announce this exam?” and they just replied, “What are you talking about? She told us since last week.” At that moment I was very confused; I didn’t know what was happening. We went to buy food outside the university, and on the way my friends asked me, “What’s wrong? You’re quieter than usual; you’re normally the one who talks the most and suggests things” (which isn’t true; in real life I’m very quiet). I told them I was just sleepy. When we were outside the university, I saw her, it was Alicia. She saw me, waved, and started running toward me with a smile. When she got to me, she hugged me and kissed me. It felt very real. Then she asked me how the exam went. While I answered anything and tried to process what was happening, she said, “What’s wrong? You’re acting weird again.” I told her the same thing I told my friends, “Sorry, I’m just really sleepy, the classes were very boring.” She just replied, “Are you sure? I’ll trust that it’s just that. By the way, I’m going to eat with some friends from my class, I won’t be able to eat with you. I’ll see you after school.” I just nodded. She gave me another kiss and left. At that moment I understood it, I was dreaming again. As soon as I became aware of it, without being able to avoid it, I woke up. Again, when I woke up it felt like a memory of something real and not like a dream; it’s hard to put into words.

I think my subconscious is telling me that I should put aside my embarrassment and stop being so shy. Although I think there are better ways than making me live half a day in a dream.

What do you think about these crazy dreams I had? They didn’t feel like dreams, but that’s probably all they are. Has anyone had similar experiences? What have you found that could explain these kinds of vivid dreams?