I'm tired of trying

Not sure how long this might be, and if the grammar is bad, I'm sorry for that. I just need to get this off my chest because I just have nobody to go to at this point.

I'm 19 and starting to get to the point where I don't wanna try to help myself anymore. I've tried hanging out with friends, but they seem to either never text me, or when I do text them, they say we can hang out and never get back to me, and they all just end up doing something together. These are my only true people I was able to call friends my whole life, but it doesn't seem like that. I even said to one of them that I just feel like I'm going crazy cus I don't do anything and nobody invites me out. All that was said to me is, "damn thats crazy". I struggle with making friends, and I'm not good at talking to people or meeting them, and school was the only thing that got me with them, and still then I had to push for it. There's also this girl I've been talking to the last few months, and we're talking, but I'm just not feeling that she cares. She says she does, yet will waste my time saying we're going to hang out, then proceeds to not text me for several hours and switches between seeming to care and not caring on different days. The main reason I'm only talking to her is I just have nobody else I talk to besides her. I can't express how I feel to my family due to stuff that happened when I was younger, and I lost trust in all of them. I try reaching out to old family members but yet seem to get ignored. I am in therapy right now, and I explain my feelings, but it doesn't even feel like my therapist gives a shit. He doesn't really do much, and we just talk, but he doesn't really help me point out ways to help me.

I'm just lost. Everything I do to try to help myself just isn't working, and idk what anymore. I've been crying out for help, and everyone just seems too blind to care.