Is this possibly manipulation? And how do you break up with someone like this?

I [26F] am considering leaving my boyfriend [29M] of 7 years and would appreciate some input on how, and if I’m valid in wondering if I’m being manipulated into staying.

My boyfriend and I have had a mostly successful long term relationship but I think I’ve been suppressing some concerns for a long time. although he is like my best friend at times, the last month has been constant fighting on his end and it’s made me realize I don’t feel the same way for him as I used to. We don’t have sex and I don’t have interest in it anymore with him. The constant fighting has also made me realize how much he yells at me, and how difficult that is for my nervous system and my wellness as a whole. I’ve told him a million times, do not yell at me but he continues to do so when he gets angry (usually over something stupid and it just keeps spiraling). Recently, he told me in 3+ separate arguments that there’s something wrong with me, then lied and acted like he didn’t when I started crying and told him not to. He eventually did apologize and say he would never do that again, but then he did it again recently.

I went to a new therapist last week to get some help on how to process my emotions about likely leaving him, and left in tears when I finally talked about how I was feeling. When I got home, my bf was there and I calmly told him what I talked about in therapy to help start a dialogue between us.

I brought up my feelings about him yelling at me and telling me there’s something wrong with me, and how that triggers some dark moments from childhood that have severely affected my self-esteem. At first, he was apologetic, then said “so I’m just the bad guy?” And then got angry with me for making him the villain. I told him that I was being honest with my therapist and I never made him out to be a villain. He then got upset and said he’d never have to yell at me if I just listened to him the first time he asked me to do something. I didn’t respond because this really triggered the alarm bells in my head for possible manipulation. After a few minutes, he started crying (hard). I was kinda distancing myself from him, trying to stay neutral because I was confused and overwhelmed with how I was feeling. He then got mad at me and kept saying “why are you not comforting me? If you were crying I’d be hugging you right now.” And after the 3rd time he said it I panicked and hugged him.

From there, he went on a long speech about how I’m perfect, I’m too good for him, he should never raise his voice at me and he’s sorry, etc, just very over the top. I didn’t really respond and we eventually went to bed. Since then, he’s been overly affectionate, complimentary, keeps asking if he can get me things, asked to do my chores, is buying me my favorite foods, etc. (almost like love bombing?) the whole thing is really off putting and he can tell I’ve been distancing myself from him but I don’t know how to react. When he goes to kiss me, I turn so he kisses my cheek but then he makes me feel bad. When we kiss on the lips it’s weird and doesnt feel like it used to.

I’m genuinely looking for some advice on whether or not this kind of behavior is manipulative or not because I’ve started to question things since this argument and cannot shake the suspicion. I’d love to hear a 3rd party give input, and hopefully I wasn’t too biased to get an honest one. I also genuinely have no idea how I’m supposed to leave him when that’s how our last conversation went and I struggled to have a calm talk with him.