I thought being alone was the problem. Then I got attached.

A few days ago I posted here saying I had 0 friends left and honestly felt pretty fu*kin lonely.

I didn’t expect anything from that post. I definitely didn’t expect things to somehow get even more complicated.
I started talking to someone from Reddit.

And honestly, I’d never really talked to a girl like this before. Not like this. Not every day. Not about random shit, personal things, our lives, flirting, stupid jokes, everything.

At first, I didn’t think much of it.

Then somehow she became a part of my everyday life.
And somewhere along the way, I started caring. A lot.

Fu*k.

That’s the part I wasn’t prepared for.

Talking to her was genuinely the best part of my day. There were times when I’d just sit there thinking, “How is this person actually listening to all this boring shit I have to say?”

And for someone who had been feeling completely alone a few days ago, having someone who was just… there, talking to me, listening to me, laughing with me, felt fucking amazing.

And now I don’t want it to end.

That’s the problem.

Because somewhere in the back of my head, I already know something I don’t really want to accept:

You can’t make someone love you.

You can’t force someone to feel the same way just because you started caring about them.

And I don’t even know what she feels about me.

Maybe I’m overthinking everything. Maybe I’m getting attached too quickly. Maybe I’m just experiencing what it’s like to finally have someone I genuinely connect with.

I don’t fu*kin know.

All I know is that now I can’t get her out of my head.
Every minute I’m checking my phone thinking, “Maybe she’ll message now.”

A few days ago, I was miserable because I had nobody.

Now I have someone I really don’t want to lose, and somehow I’m even more anxious.

I’m more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.

And mentally, I’m honestly pretty fu*ked right now.

My chest feels heavy. I can’t properly focus on anything. I’ve barely been sleeping, my appetite is messed up, and even when I try watching something or doing something else, my mind just goes back to her.

BC dimaag se nikal hi nahi rahi.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all of this.

I don’t want to pressure her.
I don’t want to make her feel responsible for how I feel.
I don’t want to chase her.

I just… don’t want this to end.

And I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.