Why can't life end when you desperately want it to?

I'm tired I'm drained in devastated. The relationship i thought was the perfect and my end goal has shattered me completely. The person i thought would be there for me through thick and thin just showed how ignorant they were the whole time.

In a city where you're all alone and the person you're with is your only hope no longer exists for you... Idk how to deal with this. I have absolutely no courage to say this to my parents or anyone.

I've been praying to desperately put an end to my misery called l!fe and all i want is strength to do it.