What would you do now knowing what you know now?

I confronted my husband’s at a minimum emotional affair. It has continued as far as I can see. We tried one session of couple therapy and he is still taking with this woman so clearly he has no intention of stopping.

I haven’t told him yet that I want a divorce so I am seeking advice. I would like to do this smartly.

I am the primary breadwinner (70/30) and primary parent to our son. Married for 4 years 6 months in Nevada.

If you could go back, what are the things you would do or get squared away before you announced your intention of a divorce? I am okay playing the long game if it means a better outcome.