bf (27m) doesn’t want to move with me (25f)

Hi, me (25f) and my boyfriend (27M) have been doing long distance on and off for just over a year now. I spent 10 months in teachers college abroad and then accepted a position teaching abroad in a different country. Both times I’ve moved away, it was initially very difficult for both of us and I made sure that he was included in the decision before I made any final calls.

The most current move has hit a lot harder than the last. I got offered a job in April of this year and immediately asked him if I decide to accept the position if he’d consider moving with me and trying something new. For context, this job is on a tropical island with many perks.. rent and car included for employees and spouses. He told me he would consider it. After a few months of him not really making any advances or us discussing any details or logistics, he broke it to me that he wouldn’t be joining me. At first, this was really disappointing because I had thought that maybe he would take this as an opportunity to advance our relationship and maybe reach out of his comfort zone and experience something new with me. Also, the legalities of moving and working on this specific island are relatively nonexistent. He could get a job working in customer service easily, as that’s what his job is back home.

His reasoning was because he wanted to invest time in advancing his career prospects back home. He has been a server for many years and has a background in graphic design , and told me that he wanted to try out commercial insurance. While I understand and respect this, some months have now gone by and he hasn’t really had any advancements in his career or made any moves to transition out of his serving job. I realize that this is something that doesn’t just happen overnight .. but I just worry that I’m moving forward with ambition and advancing in my career and he is not. I also value a life of adventure and am always in the pursuit of the new and the longer we’re together the more I fear he doesn’t share these values.

I love him so much and maybe the long distance struggle is amplifying these feelings. But I am just looking for some insight into if these feelings are valid or normal from people who have maybe gone through the same thing?