Sumtimes i wish i was normal.

My existence is wrong, i can’t be trans and muslim. I wish i could fix myself somehow but this feeling never goes away. I hate wearing feminine clothing and my parents hate it whenever i wear boys clothing. I already sinned so much. I like girls, i want to be a boy, i kissed girls i went out on dates with girls. Im going to hell. I can’t put my feelings into words properly rn but i feel so weird. Ive been told that im possessed by the devil and that i’ll get better if i start getting back into Islam but every single time i ask a question abt liking girls or gender identity on the internet ive been told that prayer is the solution, i did pray i asked Allah so many times to make these feelings stop and for me to be straight and be a girl but it never worked