Can't Shake This Feeling

Everyday. Everyday. Everyday, I feel like crap. I never want to feel this way ever again, but it will inevitably come no matter what. When I see you, I want to run into your arms and feel your embrace around me. I want to feel okay again. I know it will never happen. Even if it does, I won't want to let go and it will be awkward but I want it. I want that feeling again, to feel wanted, to feel love, to live again without the fear.

Now, when I think about us, I want it back even if it may seem that it would be the worst thing to happen in the world right now. But, seeing you everyday makes it harder for me to breathe. And now that I know you have gotten over me and being happy with someone else, makes me want to punch you in the face.

How could you forget me so easily? Was I not special enough for you to make you feel the same way? How could you move on so easily when I am here in this state of purgatory? I just want to yell at your for everything you had put me through. I want to tell you everything I have been feeling the past month, but I can't put it into words about of how I feel.

It sucks. IT SUCKS SO MUCH! WHEN YOU WORK HARD AT IT AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GETS THROWN UNDER THE BUS AND CRUSHED BY A PILE OF ROCKS. MY HEART HAS BEEN CRUSHED INTO A MILLION PIECES, DRAGGED BY A BUS FOR MILES, AND THEN STOMPED ON BY THE MERE FACT THAT YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE! What kind of excuse is that?! Just tell me one good reason why you left. Just one.

I will never be the same, it is good and bad. I want to cry forever, but so some reason I can't bring myself to do it. I just want to know. I just want to know.