Source
r/AskMen•
theandycc

My career and interests are very male-heavy. Do you have any suggestions on how to meet nice/smart/any girls?

My career is basically computing and my hobbies/interests include cycling/motorcycling, science, programming, open source software, electronics, activism/politics, maths, games, youtube gamers. The lot. While I'm a vegetarian I haven't seen any meetup group or club based around that anywhere near here. There is a vegetarian pub but, what, I'm supposed to just start talking to a complete stranger somehow? Thus, I know lots of dudes and only 1-2 women my age.

I'm in the UK in a town without much intellectual scene, e.g. there's no university (well there is but it's drama, english, humanities, etc) or technology/sciencey companies nearby. I'm not at the university and don't see any way to meet people there.

I'm looking for friends or possible intimacy. Nightclubs are too busy and loud for me to be comfortable and not being able to hear anyone pisses me off. I don't really like large groups, unless there's a common interest (e.g. protest camp).

Any thoughts or suggestions? Been through a similar phase?

Posted Aug 22, 2014, 8:04 PM UTC

1332
dihydrogen_monoxide♂•

cycling/motorcycling, science, programming, open source software, electronics, activism/politics, maths, games, youtube gamers

Ya know, I know women that do every single one of those hobbies.

Maybe you've got tunnel vision.

but, what, I'm supposed to just start talking to a complete stranger somehow?

That's generally how it works!

8
rollswithandywarhol•

I'm in the same position as the OP its not that there aren't any girls its that there aren't many good ones. The chances of finding someone you actually like are pretty poor when 4/5 people in your life are men.

9
theandyccOP•

I know women that do every single one of those hobbies

I've known them too, mainly at university. They don't exist in my current area now that I moved back to my hometown. In other cases it's simply not fair for loads of guys to all try and get close / intimate with the same couple of girls in a group with a 10:1 male:female ratio. I feel sorry for them with already too many guys trying to get with them and I'm not going to add to that.

That's generally how it works!

That doesn't really happen in Britain.

2
makesmecringe♂•

Surely there's a cycling club or other fitness interest groups where you can meet women. I'd use that or politics since those are the interests you listed that involve the most going out and seeing people face to face.

And remember, you don't have to share tons of common interests.

2
theandyccOP•

Fitness? There are so many interesting things you could do in life!

What do you mean by go out and do politics? If there is any confusion I'm talking about issue politics, like the bedroom tax, the environment, the poor and benefits, hospitals/healthcare, etc.

I haven't seen any intellectual scene around here anywhere. I could go to London but, come on, it's over an hour away by train.

1
makesmecringe♂•

I didn't suggest fitness because I think it's interesting, I suggested it because...

my hobbies/interests include cycling

...it was literally the first thing you mentioned as an interest.

2
theandyccOP•

Well what do you mean by fitness? To me it sounds like standing in a room doing exercises in a group.

Secondly have you seen a cycling club that wasn't male heavy? I remember the one at university was. I think I would find the country routes that racing cyclists tend to use (narrow and 60mph by law) uncomfortable, too hostile.

1
makesmecringe♂•

Well what do you mean by fitness?

It sort of sounds like you're the sort of person who likes to go outside, not so much one for being in a yoga class indoors (although if you are, yoga classes are not a bad place to meet women, I've heard). For outdoor exercise groups, it's going to depend on what you have locally. If there are good hiking trails, I've heard that groups that do hiking can be a bit tough to break into (especially if you seem to be there to pick up women), but very fun. If there's whitewater rafting, again, it's a clique, but those people can be a lot of fun, and a decent mix of the sexes in both groups.

1
rollswithandywarhol•

Meet women at random in public. I know what you're dealing with. I'm in engineering and like to play with cars.

1
cheeseandpita•

I tell guys to check out grocery stores or cooking classes maybe. At least once a week in a grocery store, I see a guy who needs help with something, and once a month, I'm approached by a guy in grocery store. Also yoga or Pilates classes could help.

1
theandyccOP•

I've not heard of any cooking classes around here. They would probably use meat, which I don't eat.

In a supermarket you're just picking at random. Plenty of unintelligent women out there, and it's not a place where people expect to get approached here in the UK. Maybe if they were obviously confused about something or I could start talking about products they're picking up/choosing between in some similar way.

1
RojaBFemale•

As a female with similar intrests take Pilates classes. Why Pilates? First of all I love it :) And second of all I have noticed that there is often quite some difference between women who do Pilates and women who do yoga. The Pilates women are generally more grounded and don't buy into the marketing hype of "organic", "natural" etc. etc.

Another hobby I have is coloring (colorbooks and pencils), I am planning to attend color workshops. I have a feeling I will meet women there too :)

1
theandyccOP•

I do an hours' cycling on a daily basis simply as everyday transport; I have no need for fitness sessions. I don't think I would find it stimulating/engaging either. Colouring? I ... what.

0
RojaBFemale•

Pilates is also about balance, weight lifting (very important for women too) where you use your own body as weight and coordination. I have a 22 minute dvd which I do daily but every fortnight I take a class to make sure I keep doing my movements correct.

Regarding coloring, it is quite a trend under grown ups here in Europe:

https://www.facebook.com/kleurboekvoorvolwassenen/photos/a.303730503058543.62958.234573689974225/416053475159578/?type=1&theater

If you like reading you could join a bookclub?

I don't know if it is me, but I find your reply a bit hostile.

1
theandyccOP•

Yes, I was a bit hostile. Sounds like some people enjoy it but I would rather do something else.

Bookclub, possibly. I haven't heard of any of those. Most social groups I've heard of in my area probably won't be young people, either, unfortunately. I am 22.

1
RojaBFemale•

I don't think your age is going to be the problem, your attitude more likely is going to be the problem. I mean I am into Linux, Python, gaming I love going through the www.khanacademy.org vids and excersizes. Yet, I have more female friends then male friends and guess what none off my female friends are into the things I just mentioned. Oooh, and one off them is 50 years my senior. But then again when I aks for suggestions and I get them, I don't respond hostile or like a"naysayer". Plus I find it rather odd that you would ask where to meet women in the r/AskMen sub instead of the r/askWomen sub.

1
captaindouchefuckMale•

Be funny. It doesn't matter what your interests are (initially) to a woman if you're funny.

You'll find a common ground... TV shows, movies, politics... whatever. Conversations in bars are really easy once you get the hang of it.

1
theandyccOP•

Doesn't matter how funny I'm being if there are no female people around listening.

1
captaindouchefuckMale•

You just need to initiate the conversation.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
throwaway3051•

online dating

1
smoothoperator23Male•

Dance classes. For the love of god man, trust me on this. I know it initially brings vague feelings of stigma with the idea, but it is hands down the best method for meeting fun girls. I am very masculine as far as my hobbies go-motorcycling, rugby, weightlifting, paintballing, etc-but nothing makes me feel more like a man than doing some salsa or bachata, or west coast swing.

It combines so many good elements-leadership, maintaining a strong frame, easy display for confidence, physical connection; not to mention the fact that you can set the emotional setting swiftly and lightheartedly. And you say you live near a university in the UK; I danced in London this spring when I came over for holiday, and it was a fantastic 2 to 1 ratio of girls to guys.

Go forth, my son, and sweep those sweet innocent girls off their feet.

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