I've taken your critique and made a new resume. Thoughts?
Posted Sep 3, 2014, 4:57 PM UTC
1720
Wait, was the first one for real? I thought it was a joke...
22
This is a lot better, though obviously that could have been said about really anything when compared to your last one. A few tips:
- You can set up a custom LinkedIn url that will look way better than the default one. Something like "linkedin.com/in/joeschmoe" would be ideal.
- The formatting between your Education and Work Experience sections would be more visually appealing if you made them consistent. One using a bold-font while the other indents just seems kind of weird (the Work Experience section looks the best).
- I agree with u/PiratesSayARR that the use of third person in your summary seems weird.
- A 3.2 GPA won't hurt you, but it's also not really stellar enough to warrant highlighting on your resume. I would remove any reference to GPAs and only provide them by request.
14
Would you leave the url for linkedin on the resume? Personally, I'd leave it out because you can't click on a piece of paper - then again I don't hire people so I don't know if employers look at printed copies or digital ones.
As for the formatting, I agree that they should be consistent. In my opinion it would look best if the first line was in bold and the rest was indented purely for aesthetics to create some separation rather than a solid block of text.
5
I would, but only if you're properly using your LinkedIn profile. Full disclosure though, I'm also not someone in charge of hiring.
You can put a whole lot more information on a LinkedIn profile than you can a resume, so it gives a hiring manager a convenient way to find out a bit more about you online when considering you for an interview. In some instances, that may be enough to push them over the edge in your favor.
5
One formatting/cosmetic suggestion is that you minimize empty space. This means making sure your job descriptions and education information spans the whole page width. Having too much empty space can give the impression that you don't have much to say about your experience, even if it may not actually be the case.
On a related, smaller note regarding formatting (but not entirely necessary): if one of your sentences/descriptions wraps around to the beginning of the next line, maybe try to eliminate an unnecessary word so that it fits perfectly on the line above (in other words, your sentence/description ends at the right hand side of the page.
Speaking of which, you should really try and strengthen your descriptions of job responsibilities. So you answered phones, addressed problems through email, and set appointments... For whom did you answer phones for? What kind of problems did you solve? Try to quantify when possible... e.g. how many patients did you set appointments for? Additionally, attempt to make things sound more impressive than they actually are (without stretching the truth).
Separate each identifiable responsibility into one bullet point. For example:
- Welcomed and greeted patients and visitors to the reception area
- Answered and referred phone and email inquiries regarding appointment logistics (or whatever it is you helped out with)
- Managed appointments for 500+ patients for the facility's 5 medical professionals
Lastly, what words you use can make a large difference in distinguishing your resume. Here is a great resource for good verbs to use to describe job responsibilities and accomplishments:
http://career.opcd.wfu.edu/files/2011/05/Action-Verbs-for-Resumes.pdf
3
Speaking of which, you should really try and strengthen your descriptions of job responsibilities.
Biggest issue IMO.
Again, you need to research some strong resumes. A description of your job duties is great but honestly they can find ANYONE capable of answering phones, setting appointments, and talking to clients. Saying you taught kids languages is a solid introduction to what you job was, but I'm not sure why I care. The best line you have on there was how you were rated the most profitable employee once. That is the one line that makes me think "holy fuck, this guy might actually be GOOD".
You need to make me think you're good. Addressed problems sounds like a good start, but what problems? Why were you good at it? How did you make your presentations engaging? Fostering a cross-cultural understanding sounds good and I bet you could TOTALLY swing that to be something that accounting firms actually desire.
Read examples.
2
Yea, I agree. Its not so easy to do when you have such a mundane work history. I'll try to quanitify my experience where possible.
1
Significant improvement from the first draft! If I may, there are still a few things I would improve:
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change the summary to either first person or, even better, try to phrase it without using any pronouns.
-
expand on your work experience. Have the experience section take up a larger portion of the page. Instead of just saying "answered phones" try to structure it by beginning the bullet point with an Action Verb- touch on customer service and communication skills that you developed Because you answered phones.
2
I am not OP, but I have two work experiences from high school where each lasted for a dat. Should I put it in my resumé? I worked at a shop and the State railways.
1
where each lasted for a dat.
for a day? I would say no, do not include them. If it was like a one day program that was extremely valuable and relates directly to the job you are applying for, you could include that experience in a single bullet point somewhere on your resume. Otherwise, leave it off.
4
What about a week? I did one week as a secretary/assistant for a financial advisor six years ago at high school when I was 14. I don't remember much from my work experience other than reading finance news for my employer and some client reviewing. Should I include that?
0
Definitely better but I'd say you still need a bit of work to push it to the top tier of resumes. Take a look at the 'mergers and inquisitions' resume template and consider adding your content to that:
http://resume-videos-00.s3.amazonaws.com/University-Student-Investment-Banking-Resume-Template.docx
Three things that pop out to me as being different are:
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The better use of space on the M&I template,
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The lack of a blurb telling them about you - It's much better imo to include that sort of information in a cover letter or just let them find it in your resume, and
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Due to the better use of space there is more room on the M&I template to elaborate on your experience at various companies / at various student organisations / volunteer experience.
2
Get rid of the "other" section and the GPA on the first degree. It is top low to highlight
Way better though
1
The descriptions of your previous positions should be rewritten. It looks like you took more pride/time in writing your position at Best Buy versus the other two, & in my opinion that is the one that deserves the least amount of attention...
1
TrollololololllllL!!!!!
-4
I do not like the 3rd person in your summary.
You think it would be better with I, or without pronouns?
I
Yeah, it just felt weird seeing you talk about yourself that way. Like, did your mother write your resume for you and is trying to hype you up?
yes I, with the least I's possible, if that makes sense