Source
r/breastfeeding•
Susie_M

Unsure how to interpret baby's non-nutritive sucking...

Hi, everyone,

I had my baby on October 15th and, since then, have been working on figuring out how to breastfeed him. In general, things have been going pretty well...despite some jaundice (it was a difficult birth that involved three hours of pushing and lots of bruising for baby because my doctor didn't realize he was sunny side up), he has not only already regained his birth weight but several ounces additional to that. He has also been producing plenty of wet and dirty diapers.

However, over the course of this week, baby has significantly reduced the duration of his feedings. He used to drink at each breast for 15+ minutes pretty much every time. Now, these occasions are very rare - more often than not, he drinks anywhere from three to five minutes at each breast, then either falls asleep or just hangs out, looking around and taking really small, fluttery sucks without really swallowing. I have tried waking him up using various strategies (blowing on his face, dabbing his forehead with a damp cotton ball, tickling his feet, etc.) and nothing seems to work as far as either that or getting him to resume swallowing actively goes. Breast compressions don't seem to do anything either.

The problem doesn't seem to be our latch or my supply. I took baby to the lactation consultant yesterday, who helped us iron out a few kinks but said that, in general, our latch is pretty good and that I have lots of milk. Of course, while we were meeting with her, baby didn't replicate any of what he does at home that stresses me out...he drank like a champ and spent 20 minutes on each breast. We did a before and after weight for him, and during that feeding, he consumed above and beyond the 2.5 ounces they use as a ballpark recommended figure at this age.

I felt a lot better after that meeting but then went home and got frustrated all over again when baby basically just went right back to the pattern of sucking and swallowing actively for four-ish minutes, then lying there like he's done. I asked the lactation consultant about this, but all she did was suggest that I do my best to make sure he gets a "full feeding" and wake him up if necessary...which, as I explained earlier, is something I haven't been able to figure out how to do.

I guess my questions are:

  1. Is this short time of active swallowing a problem, if all other indicators look okay? (i.e., baby doesn't seem hungry when he unlatches, my milk supply looks good, he is producing plenty of diapers, he has been gaining weight, etc.) I keep reading stuff about how if he's not sucking for at least 15-20 minutes on at least one side a feeding, it's a problem.

  2. Is there anything else I should be doing about the brief spans of eating? I feel overwhelmed by the suggestions and am not sure which ones to follow...I keep reading stuff about how I should switch breasts as soon as he stops sucking actively or just doggedly continue trying to poke him into hanging in there on the first breast and push for a "full feeding" and how I'd just be teaching him to "snack" otherwise.

  3. What the heck does he want when he is rooting or crying inconsolably and calms down when I put him to my breast but doesn't seem to want to eat? Is he not hungry and just using me to pacify? And if so, is that okay? I feel like I see mixed messages about whether I should leave him on or take him off when this happens.

Thank you for any advice you guys may be able to offer...I just feel like this is feeding into my current super-hormonal state, stressing me out way more than it potentially needs to, and making me a nervous wreck instead of being able to enjoy these days with my baby. It's hard to trust the signs that he is getting plenty to eat, because I just keep wondering if that is a result of the "good old days" when he ate 15-20 minutes per side and is going to now be on a downswing where we will soon see weight loss and no dirty/wet diapers. Help! =(

Posted Oct 26, 2014, 8:57 PM UTC

1211
LadySekhmetEBF with some formula - born a Preemie•

First - You're doing fantastic Mama!

Sounds like to me that he's just becoming an efficient eater now. There will be some days that he wants to eat longer, and some days he just want to snack. My son tend to eat much longer overnight vs. during the day, he's 7 months so everything else around him is more interesting, but I feed often, while overnight, he's fed twice.

Answers to your questions: 1 - Nope, it's not a problem at all if everything else is great! Don't read in the hype of they "must" eat 15-20 minutes. I think my son only did that ONCE in 7 months and he's fine.

2 - nothing else. Pay attention to the number of wet diapers. If there is 8 or more (for newborn, once they get a little bigger, 6-8 is a good number) wet diapers a day, he's doing great! The suggestions is for babies that have poor latches, low number of diaper count, low weight, etc., there's other issues of the reason why they need to be "woken up". Once he finishes one breast, and he acts like he's finished. You can pick him up, hold him and talk to him and see if he'll wake up a little bit, then offer the second breast. If he doesn't take it, that's fine too. Newborn tummies are SO little. That's why they're fed so frequently at the beginning, and then when they get bigger, they can take in more and go longer between feeds. If you cannot remember the count of diapers, what I do is I set a pile of 10 diapers, and use only that pile throughout the day. That 10 diapers should be used up within 24 hours.

3 - I suspect two things - one, is your letdown isn't fast enough and it frustrates him so it takes a while for the letdown to occur and then when it does, he settles down (I am assuming that he does after a little while of being on the breast) - My son does this. Two - your milk is coming in fast, or he doesn't want milk, and rather just suck - that's okay too. Let him pacify - it helps with milk production, and bonding. :-) Do what YOU want. There are some women that don't like comfort nursing because it takes too long or don't like the feel of it. I personally allow my son comfort nurse for as long as he wants, and as long as I'm capable. It's a different story when it's 2am, and I know he's dead asleep, so after just a couple minutes, I unlatch him and put him in the crib and he's out.

If you have no issues with comfort nursing, consider learning how to side nurse, and let him go to town. What I do is I have my tablet, phone, and remote control nearby me. I get a receiving blanket and put it on the couch - my couch is really wide, so it's enough room for the both of us to rest comfortably. I put him on his side, either swaddled or not, and I feed the boob that is closer to the couch and he just nurses like crazy and comfort nurses and fall asleep. During that time, I can check my tablet, my phone etc. I sometimes fall asleep when he does. If I have to do something and he's sleeping, I tend to unlatch, and slowly get up and move over him, and pick him up and put in swing/crib/playpen. It is easier if he was swaddled because he doesn't flail his arms.

Sorry so long! Hope it was helpful!

9
Susie_MOP•

This was such a helpful response!

Thank you for normalizing things for me! I just find myself overthinking everything lately and wondering if it heralds disaster, so your reply really helps me calm down, especially hearing from someone else whose baby rarely ate for the "textbook" duration and is doing well. The suggestions about how to keep track of diapers, as well as side nursing are good ideas, and I will try them. I also appreciate the reminder to do what I want with respect to the comfort nursing...I have been so caught up in doing what I am "supposed" to that I am forgetting to enjoy myself and this experience. I'm going to try to let go of the "rules" a little more and just focus on the important basics and having fun with my baby.

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LadySekhmetEBF with some formula - born a Preemie•

I have been so caught up in doing what I am "supposed" to that I am forgetting to enjoy myself and this experience.

THIS is important that you understand!

Every baby is different. As long as you are feeding him, he is gaining weight, getting taller, contented, wet diaper count is good, poop is mustard/seedy, and you're golden. If anything is off such as green poop, wet diaper decreasing, nipples hurt, screaming at the breast every time, going bonkers in the evening (I hated this!), etc, feel free to ask and we all will work it out together!

Hugs and ENJOY your baby...I miss my son when he was little...he was 5lbs when he finally got breastfeeding...now he's 11lbs, 7 months (yes I know he's small, he's a preemie and the "rules" doesn't exactly apply to him!) and rather play with other things. I miss holding him for a long long time on my shoulder without being distracted. I miss him falling asleep on my chest.

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mistyfoot•

1 if everything else is fine then this seems fine. He is gaining weight and everything. Maybe he is an efficient eater, or a snacker. 2 I switch breasts but it is bc I hate having lopsided fullness lol. If he isn't starving the choice of waking him or switching is yours. 3 yes, you are a human pacifier. This is normal and acceptable behavior. If yoy do not like it use a binky, but otherwise it is not going to confuse his feedings he knows what he is doing. I would say if he is healthy and happy you are fine. Just watch his diapers and weight gain. If they're still good, then everything is alright! Good luck!

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Susie_MOP•

Thank you for the reassurance! It helps so much just to hear someone else say that if the diapers and weight gain are looking the way they should, I shouldn't worry about it. I also liked what you said about how if he's not starving, I can either wake or switch him...it just reminds me that perhaps this is true for more than just whether to switch sides right now (i.e., he isn't starving, so things are not as life-and-death as my poor, postpartum, hormone-saturated brain wants me to believe they are right now). I will try to trust baby more and just take my cues from him. =)

1
Meltedchz•

First, you're doing great!

1- Nope, not a problem. If diapers and weight gain are fine, I wouldn't worry. 15-20 minutes of bfding is a loong time for each feeding. The average pumping time is 10-15. That's the length of a letdown for most women.

If your baby keeps going with the non-nutritive sucking, he may be trying to trigger another let down. Sometimes let downs are inhibited by stress. It always helped me to imagine them eating, I even watched little movies on my phone I had taken while breastfeeding. It helped me relax so i could let down and pump.

OR, maybe he just needed a snack and is fine. It doesn't sound like a problem to me. Sounds like you have enough milk, he's getting enough milk and he's happy!

Also, breastmilk composition can change all the time, 1tsp of milk might now may be just as nutritious as 2 tsp was last week. Fat is satiating, so maybe you are having some good fatty milk. Who knows. It can even change throughout the day depending on how hydrated you are. He's also probably a lot more efficient than he was before.

2- Snacking happens at 8-10 months. Ask me how I know that. ;) You're baby isn't going to only snack all day. His body won't let him. He'll feed if he needs to and snack if he needs to at this age.

3- I prefer to comfort nurse as much as they want in the first 8-12 weeks. It's good because comfort nursing will help your supply increase when it needs to (google growth spurts, cluster feeding and wonder weeks) I let my kids comfort nurse as much as they wanted to and one of them wanted to do it forever and the other was content to get the milk and move on. I think that can be a personality thing. The latch produces oxytocin for the mama and the baby too, so it promotes bonding and relaxation as well!

Don't be afraid to set limits for yourself as well. My oldest had reflux or colic or something(constant growth spurts?)so I spent most of my evenings when she was tiny parked in front of the TV binging on Netflix for hours while she cluster fed. We got through it, but there were times when I had to unlatch her and just get some time without being touched. Breastfeeding is a relationship and you matter too! Are you getting your support? Food, water? Rest when you can? Hang in there, you'll get it.

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Susie_MOP•

Thank you for the encouragement - it really does help! Fifteen to 20 minutes seems like forever to me too, so what you pointed out about average pumping time makes me feel a lot better to hear, as do the reasons you mentioned he might be eating for a shorter time. What you said about relaxing to help with letdown makes sense, and today I have been trying things to maintain less of a hyperfocus on him and whether he's eating the "right" amount of time (e.g., watching a TV show while nursing, closing my eyes and just attending to his warmth and the sweet little sounds he makes, etc.). It's helped a lot just in terms of my stress level.

I appreciate your thoughts on snacking and comfort nursing too...I have to remember that there is an ebb and flow to all of this, and that even if he has a day where he isn't eating as much, there are others during which he eats much more. I also want to remember to focus on the relationship part of all this, so the reminder about making sure my self-care is intact is huge. Thanks again for your incredibly helpful response.

1
FoxenTheSnowNursing a fat and happy toddler!•

My guess: you have an oversupply and your baby is satisfied quickly. That would explain the quick regain of the birthweight, the fast feedings, and also, possibly the fussiness. Oversupply can sometimes lead to foremilk/hindmilk imbalance and stomach upset.

If nothing else, burp him more and burp him more vigorously. Sitting up usually worked for my daughter, and, failing that, we'd lay her across our knees.

All that said, comfort nursing is fine. There is nothing wrong--zero, none--with your baby "using you as a pacifier." Breasts are comforting for babies. Non-nutritive sucking is good for your supply. So what if they snack?

Stop watching the clock. Watch your baby instead.

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Susie_MOP•

I think you might be onto something with respect to the oversupply theory - he does tend to choke, sputter, and unlatch himself a couple of times when we get started, and I have noticed that he is sometimes gassy afterwards. I will try what you suggested about burping him more often and more vigorously.

I also appreciate the confirmation that comfort nursing is okay. I actually enjoyed it until I ran across a couple of resources that suggested I was teaching my baby to eat inefficiently. You are so right about dialing things back, taking my cues from baby, and paying less attention to the clock. I think that's exactly what I need to do in order to get back to enjoying this experience and time with this new little person of mine.

Thank you!!!

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reddittatertot•

No need to worry mommy, everything sounds perfectly fine! The flutter sucking is for comfort. I let my baby do it all the time and he's very happy and strongly attached. If you're happy and baby's happy, carry on! Don't let anyone (including LCs) make you worried. If you're both happy and baby's gaining weight and making lots of dirty diapers (all of which sound like are going fine for you), sit back, quiet your mind and enjoy your little one! I think it's natural in the beginning to let all the conflicting advice get to you because (tbh) we don't know what the hell we're doing at first. You honestly sound like you're doing great and there's nothing that needs adjusting.

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Susie_MOP•

THANK YOU for the encouragement and for what you said about not letting others worry me. I have totally been overwhelmed by contradictory information and guidelines, and I think I need to just step away and focus on the really important parts (i.e., my happiness, baby's happiness, weight gain, and diapers). You are so right that it's super easy to second guess everything right now because I don't know what the heck I'm doing, haha. I am going to try to relax and enjoy my time with my baby. =)

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