[Critique] 38/M/VA New to this.. lemme have it.
okcupid.com/profile/MentalDharma
okcupid.comPosted Nov 8, 2014, 2:18 PM UTC
1618
okcupid.comDefinitely go ahead and throw up a couple more pictures, maybe with some other people in it or doing some of your favorite activities. I think the two pictures you have up now are pretty good and you come off as a friendly guy. Add some more detail to your intro and I think you'll have a decent profile! Goodluck:)
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Thanks!
I figured the picture part was lacking... working on that. Detail in intro? Hmmm
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In your first paragraph you use two periods. Put a third one in there or take one away. Also, I agree with the other beard comments. Good luck!
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You're doing surprisingly well at mentioning your kid/divorce in a natural and casual way. That's pretty rare. Might want to change 'new friends only' and add the two datings. New Friends only is not a codeword for going slowly. If you're serious about just looking for friends, make that very clear, but understand OKC is primarily a dating site. And yeah, more pics, including a body shot.
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Thanks.
I had wondered about that 'new friends only'... changed now.
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In your tv category, Sfifi!
I really liked your profile, but we were a really high match percentage, so that's probably why :)
I'd actually be curious to see you without the beard.
Maybe a full body picture? All of yours are fairly close up.
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Dah.. good catch!
Ugh.. I shaved it off a few years ago, and felt very naked.
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I guess I just figured... eh... It'll grow back in a month, if I don't like it.
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Well?? Do you like it?
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I'm warming up to it. Feels almost like I'm not hiding my face anymore... and my chin is cold.
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Looks pretty good to me, however I always question whether people that say they are looking for people anywhere are really serious, especially when there is a kid involved.
What are you really looking for? A pen pal or someone you could actually meet?
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Good point. That was something I really wasn't paying attention to when I checked it.
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Every critique I do, I have to write the same thing. Work on your intro! Ask any writer or journalist..the first line, paragraph, and page are critically important. It doesn't matter if you write a masterpiece, if they stop reading before the end of the first paragraph you have failed. You have 2, MAYBE 3 lines to smash her in the vulva and grab her attention with your burly, manly hands. Your current intro is informative, not attention grabbing. Think buzzfeed, not New York Times.
To use a fishing metaphor...your pictures are the bait, they bring them to your profile. Your intro is where you set the hook...it's what keeps them interested. The rest of your profile and messages are where you reel them in.
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I appreciate the copy pasta. I've read it before from other critiques.
I wondered if you had a few example profiles that exert what you are asserting?
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I'll see if I can't PM you some examples.
EDIT: Sent.
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Overall, a good profile... But I'd suggest going with a whole beard or none at all. I think you'd look a ton better either way.
Wow... anyone else feel this way about the goat?
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Maybe a super trimmed goat for now. I haven't seen my chin in awhile and I think I have a tan line from all the summer sun.