Source
r/breastfeeding•
Susie_M

How to soothe a baby who wants to comfort nurse when dealing with an oversupply/forceful let-down?

Hi, everyone,

I've posted here once before and benefited so much from your thoughtful responses and warm encouragement. I am hoping that you may be able to help me again.

Some background that might be helpful: My baby is now 4 weeks old, and for the past couple of weeks, I am pretty sure I have been dealing with an oversupply and forceful let-down. I think this is the case, because I often see/hear Baby "chugging" frantically, pulling away choking or coughing, or grunting/whining and punching me in the boob whenever I feel a let-down (which is heart-wrenching to watch). His feeds tend to be really short (anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes, with the -very- occasional longer feed thrown in) and he only ever really eats on one side each time; however, his weight gain has been pretty fast (he was 6 pounds, 12 ounces at birth and is now up to about 9 pounds, 5 ounces), and he makes plenty of wet and dirty diapers (with the appropriate mustardy/seedy consistency). I am going back to work soon, have started pumping after his morning feed, and generally get a combined total of anywhere from 6 to 8 ounces in 15 minutes at that time. I have considered trying the block feeding thing but am paranoid about messing with my supply this early or about being wrong about what I think I am seeing.

The problem: Nights have become a pretty miserable time for me, Dad, and Baby. Baby is still wide awake when we try to go to bed and will cry and show signs that he wants to be at the breast (e.g., stuffing his hands into his mouth, "pecking" at our chests, etc.). I am assuming that what he wants to do at these times is comfort nurse, because when I do latch him on, he tries to "flutter" suck instead of drinking the way he does when he is hungry. I would love to be able to comfort him this way or nurse him to sleep, but because of the oversupply/forceful let-down issue, the only way he can do this is by making his latch small and pinchy (not necessarily painful but definitely sucking only on my nipple), which I hate. My questions are:

  1. Since he is pretty good about latching on appropriately when he is hungry, and it is not actually hurting me, do I just let him comfort nurse with the small, pinchy latch? Or is that setting us up to have all sorts of bad habits and give me shredded nipples?

  2. Should I give him a pacifier to satisfy his need to suck at night (when he is not hungry), since trying to use my actual breast for that purpose has been frustrating both of us? I have some Avent Soothies I could use, but I am terrified of creating problems like nipple confusion/preference or masking his hunger cues. I just don't know what else to do - right now, Dad and I are getting maybe three hours of sleep a night, because we are up, trying to soothe Baby to sleep by walking him around, rocking him, etc.

  3. I am worried about the fact that we no longer have night feeds with a clear beginning and end - just the above pattern of latching Baby on when he acts hungry, only to have him lay there staring at me, suck/swallow a couple of times before grimacing and pulling off, or tightening his latch up so that only my nipple is in his mouth. There doesn't seem to be any milk transfer at these times. Should I be worried about this (since he does generally eat when he is hungry and isn't losing weight/making too few diapers, and if my supply dwindles a little, maybe it would actually help more than hurt)?

I am meeting with an LC on Monday but, until then, would appreciate any help you guys may be able to offer. I am just feeling really discouraged with this process and annoyed and frustrated at my baby, which makes me feel like a terrible person. I am always gentle with him, but yesterday night, I was so irritated with him, even though I know none of this is his fault. My husband brought him to me this morning so that I could feed him, and seeing him looking pitiful in a fuzzy onesie that is a little too big for him made me feel so guilty that I wanted to cry. Ugh. I hate feeling like I can't give him what he needs right now.

Thanks in advance, everyone. I really appreciate all of you.

Posted Nov 15, 2014, 7:41 PM UTC

1428
Imaman-duh•

I really struggled with this too. In the end, my husband help me come up with a system that worked for us. I would offer the breast up to three times for food. If he wasn't interested in eating and did just the flutter sucking and no swallowing you're talking about, I gave him a pacifier. I was worried about all the same things as you, but it turned out to be fine. We used the Soothies and they worked great. I will admit my husband had an easier time comforting him during this phase (milky smell), but it definitely passed before he was two months old. This "system" allowed us to put more structure back into his feeding sessions, especially at night. Ours were getting drawn out and long like you described. It won't be long and he'll be through this phase! You can do it!

8
Susie_MOP•

Yes, I think the lack of structure is what is really getting to me right now...it feels like his feeds are all messed up and disorganized, so I really like the idea you and your husband came up with. I'm glad to hear that the Soothies worked for you and that this was a phase...I haven't yet decided how I want to manage this, but just knowing there are options I can still feels reassuring. Thanks for the encouragement!

1
duck_duck_rabbit•

I have always had oversupply, and my only advice is to present him with a pre-emptied breast. I wouldn't be terribly concerned about the risk of hurting supply by block feeding--you'll know if it goes down, and then you can stop. The other way to present an emptier breast is to pump first, but this will only increase supply.

If your kiddo will take the pacifier at night, that seems like a fine option as well, for the times that he's not hungry. Mine never would take one, though I only tried a couple times.

In my case, I think baby just trained himself not to do much comfort nursing. When he did do it, he would end up getting a whole lot of milk, and then would projectile vomit. It was fun.

You aren't doing anything wrong, it will get better as baby's tummy continues to grow!

7
Susie_MOP•

Thanks for the support - I am hoping that this will get easier as he gets older. I called the LC this afternoon, just to run the oversupply issue past her and see if there was anything I could try while waiting to meet with someone in person. She identified the block feeding as an option too, so I think I will try that for awhile and see how it goes. Thanks for the reassurance that this won't ruin my supply irreparably - that's part of what has been tough about this; I don't know what sort of repercussions my decisions will have, and it all feels so catastrophic. I really just need to calm down and remember that this is not the end of the world. =)

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saramace•

Yes to pacifier! I'm all for it. And I had it further validated by a famous lactation consultant yesterday.

5
Susie_MOP•

Thank you for passing that validation on to me! I spoke to an LC this afternoon who also said that if my baby is gaining weight well, there is no reason that we can't experiment with a pacifier (and that if it does cause problems, we can always stop using it). I keep hearing that using one will lead to breastfeeding problems, so it's so nice to hear a different opinion.

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Mamawannabe•

Sadly I have no advice but am dealing with very similar issues. Interested to hear what others have to say. Hang in there!

3
Susie_MOP•

Just being reminded that I am not the only one is helpful, so thank you. You hang in there too. =)

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i_miss_tequilaEbf since 12/3/13•

Have you tried nursing in the "laid back" position? This can help with too much flow as gravity works against instead of with baby. My babe didn't want to latch in this position so I would latch first and then lean back with him. I also would pump before offering the breast- but be cautious doing this as it will increase supply. It worked for me because I was building up a freezer supply. If one breast produces less, you could try offering that side for soothing and the other side for feeding. Doing dream feeds in the side lying position was also successful for me as the excess milk would just dribble out of his mouth. Block feeding helped regulate my supply quite a bit. I see nothing wrong with offering a pacifier if your baby will take one, but always try for a good latch. I ended up taking the pacifier away from my boy as he started to suck his upper lip under when he used one, which he then started doing when he nursed. Bad habits can be hard to break.

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MustHaveCleverHandle•

This - we dealt with it by side-lying and, when she was bigger, having her sit up to nurse (her head was level with the breast).

3
cercidasthecynic•

I also found side-lying to work for us. Plus it let me relax and sometimes nap! My son is 10.5 months and we still nurse that way sometimes.

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Susie_MOP•

Thanks for the suggestions. I am going to try the block feeding and see if it helps at all. I also really liked what you suggested about latching first and then leaning back with your baby...I have experimented with the laid back position and side-lying before but find that I have struggled with getting a good latch in those positions. I'll keep working on it and see how that goes, because it sounds like that has been effective for a few people.

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i_miss_tequilaEbf since 12/3/13•

Another thing that helped us was doing dream feeds. He didn't seem to mind the fast flow when he was sleeping. That is how a lot of the early feeds were done for us.

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Susie_MOP•

This is interesting! Is that basically just feeding them without waking them up? Because tonight, while trying to make sure I didn't overstimulate him during his feed and change (another poster suggested he might be overtired when he is super fussy), he was really relaxed and sleepy, and we had one of the best nighttime series of feeds we've had!

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i_miss_tequilaEbf since 12/3/13•

Exactly. I'm glad you had a good feed!

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Yogicj•

I would definitely suggest block feeding, even mild block feeding. I dealt with oversupply and forceful letdown as well and I did 2 feedings on one breast and then switched. It helped a lot but it still took until well after 8 weeks for my supply to regulate. I remember going to my 6 week PP appointment and my midwife said I was still engorged. I could have cried, I thought it was getting better! Also, if you can spray the letdown into a towel or burp rag this will help with baby not having to gulp as much. The pinchy latch is because baby is trying to protect their airway, a good thing but painful! I would absolutely unlatch and relatch if you are uncomfortable.

Just a thought, if it's at night that he's doing the flutter sucking your supply is at it's lowest at night and he might be trying to get a letdown. But if he's just comfort nursing and you don't want him to than a pacifier would work well. Also, if he's up when you want to sleep it's possible he has his days and nights mixed up or is overtired. It couldn't hurt to explore these options as well.

Good luck! Oversupply sucks, but it gets better.

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i_miss_tequilaEbf since 12/3/13•

Yes! Forgot to mention letting the intial letdown spray into a cloth diaper- this helped us so much!

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Susie_MOP•

I spoke with the LC this afternoon, who suggested exactly what you did with just starting with two feedings on each breast before switching. I am also practicing with spraying the let-down into a burp rag. I'm not sure how it's going quite yet - mostly, we are still just a frustrated, milk-soaked mess, haha, but at least it feels good to be trying something.

Incidentally, thank you for mentioning the possibility that he is overtired - you are a genius! I went and researched that for awhile, and a lot of the indicators of an overtired baby sound exactly like him. I am going to be more mindful of responding to his early "tired baby" signals before they escalate so much and see how that impacts things. This caring for tiny humans business is really hard!

2
Yogicj•

Glad you've got some things to try! I remember feeling like a milk soaked mess, haha.

Yeah, overtired babies are no fun :(. My daughter has always been a terrible napper so I we worked on sleep A LOT. Even now at 13 months, I can look at her I and be "you're overtired, time for bed!" You'll get there!

1
beanbaconsoup•

I use a dummy. Both my son and daughter are comfort suckers, and if I would let them feed they would just end up with sore tummies. I know some people disagree with dummies, but my two have never had a problem with nipple confusion, and have had good weight gain. My son ended up rejecting the dummy at 4 months old too.

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Susie_MOP•

Thank you for normalizing the use of pacifiers. It is so tough, because I want to keep them as an option, but half of the people to whom I speak are all, "Pacifiers are fine," while the other half are all, "Pacifiers are the devil!" It's so nice to hear from people who have used them without it ending in breastfeeding disaster.

2
Gabiscuit•

Go for the pacifier, if your kid has a good latch it shouldn't be a problem. I don't think babies get confused. When they drink a bottle it is instant gratification (no waiting for let down) and less work. I think bottle to boob is harder just because babies get frustrated with the work that goes with the boob. Pacifier is just for soothing. My baby had a disorganized suck and swallow and a terrible latch. We had to do bottles in the beginning. We actually had to help him learn to use the pacifier and ultimately I think it helped him work out his issues. He got good at sucking on his pacifier and at almost three months old finally latched. Been breastfeeding like a champ since then.

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Susie_MOP•

Thank you for that encouragement - what you said makes a lot of sense, about flow preference vs. nipple confusion, and it's nice to hear about a situation where a pacifier may have even helped your baby with his latch (because I always hear the opposite - that a pacifier will lead to Breastfeeding Apocalypse). I haven't yet decided whether I will use one, but it feels good to have the option on the table, in case I want to.

1
Gabiscuit•

Every baby is so different. The kids who turn out best are the ones who are loved! If you have that down all the other stuff works itself out. It is so easy to stress about these things. Whatever you do it will be right because it will work for you and your baby. Before you know it you will be on to the next big thing cereal vs no cereal, buying sippy cups, baby food decisions. Hmmm maybe I shouldn't have had that cup of coffee this am....

1
greenfrog55•

We ended up using a pacifier with our little one to help her soothe in the face of my oversupply. She started using one at 2 weeks old, which is when our hospital recommended trying. She's very good at soothing herself at night now, after some gentle sleep training at 7 months old and with her binky and lovey combo. Personally, I think the pacifiers are wonderful because she clearly wanted to comfort suck and couldn't do it safely on me.

Other options for reducing supply include eliminating lactogenic foods like oatmeal, almonds, cashews, etc. Block feeding helped, but the thing that finally got the supply under control for me was [and here I am recommending without the link again because I can't find it] pumping until as close to empty as I could get and then applying cold packs to my boob then and after every feeding for a day. (I did one boob at a time.) I had to do one boob twice and the other once, but my supply regulated a lot after that.

Those early weeks are the toughest. So many tears from both me and the baby. She started handling the flow a lot better around 7 weeks and by four months she could actually fall asleep nursing once in a while. (At almost 9 months, I still cry a little when she does it, it's so wonderful to see her eating peacefully.)

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Susie_MOP•

Thanks for the encouraging words regarding the pacifier, and I am so glad to hear that your daughter started handling the flow more easily around 7 weeks. My LC seemed to think the same would happen for my baby, so your response gives me hope! =)

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jillianjillianjiggs•

I would have used a pacifier if mine would have taken one - go for it! Also talk to the LC about block feeding or full drainage and block feeding. You could be stuck in a loop where baby is uncomfortable because of too much foremilk and then comfort nurses and then boosts supply and then too much foremilk, etc.

If it doesn't get better you could also look into other causes of discomfort like food sensitivities or reflux (can be caused by a sensitivity/allergy as well). For my son the constant attempted comfort nursing that didn't satisfy and left him crying for hours every evening was a result of a dairy allergy. Once we solved that, he was still high need and I still had an oversupply, but he was just much happier in general and would fall asleep at the breast instead of just getting upset.

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Susie_MOP•

Thank you for the suggestions! The LC wound up encouraging me to refrain from ongoing block feeding, at least until my supply is more established (because I am going back to work in two weeks, and we're not sure how pumping for two feedings is going to impact things). She said that Baby should be able to better handle the flow when he gets a little older and showed me how to use laid back positioning to help him manage it with less distress for the time being. She also raised the possibility of a dairy sensitivity and said I could experiment with cutting dairy out of my diet for a few weeks and seeing how that goes. I think I am going to try this. So glad it worked well for your son!

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