This is the worst description of a liquid I've ever seen...
driptonic.com/product/red-dawn-16ml/
driptonic.comPosted Dec 3, 2014, 11:17 PM UTC
191149
driptonic.comFrom the website:
In the heat of battle, deep in the trenches, the sound of World War III echoes. Peering onto the battlefield you know you may not make it back. Suddenly a medic runs up sliding into the trench. Handing you a strange red liquid, the medic tells you that this is the key to the war. The mythical Red Dawn. You crack the bottle open and smell something familiar, and yet foreign. What is it? Perhaps the answer is the question itself. A paradox of flavors that instill courage and the will to go on.
Will someone please tell me what in the hell I'm supposed to get from that description? There's not a single mention of an ingredient or flavor profile anywhere. Also, I've seen some strange stories in eliquid descriptions before, but this one is flat out ridiculous. God I wish vendors would quit doing this shit.
On the other hand, the description for "American Pie" is pretty damn funny:
You walk in to Grandma's house. Yes, she's baking again. The sweet smell of dense apple pie with a dash of cinnamon and a buttery, flaky crust engulfs your nose. The first bite sends you in to a state of complete and utter bliss. Grandma leaves to warm up her dial up computer. You open your eyes and feel a strange urge. “Do I want to make love to this pie?” Knowing the answer, you cling to the hope that Grandma doesn't come back into the kitchen anytime soon.
Edit - Some words.
44
It's a bit of local gag it's a mystery flavor essentially I personally like it (Apollo the makers of driptonic are local to me)
12
Dial up computer.
My sides.
11
wolverines!
5
I want to buy these juices for these descriptions alone.
3
Seems like they mixed up Nicotine with THC... Personally I find these hilarious lol.
1
I love the Holocustard one:
"If you’re going to meet the end of the world in a box with 30 other people breathing in a strange gas, it should smell like French vanilla with cinnamon and caramel"
Hilarious AND it has the DAMN flavors listed.
41
Lol you just know there's some people getting butthurt over that too.
9
You bet, I actually found it here, someone was raging over it.
4
I love dark jokes like that, I'd totally order it just for that description.
3
I'd buy it too... I had relatives that died in the Holocaust. It's just a joke on the side of a jews, ahem, juice, bottle. It doesn't mean you think the Holocaust was any less of a tragedy than anyone else.
1
Mad Murdock copped A LOT of shit when they put out their Agent Orange flavour.
0
No way. I see people getting up in arms about MBV's "Thug Juice", I can't even imagine how hard they'd rip on this flavor name.
4
Does it taste like purple? Sorry, I couldn't resist. Totally a joke. I'll see myself out now.
8
No. Watermelon and menthol.
10
Ah, Newports and summer...a wonderful combination
3
[deleted]
3
Watermelon, grape and menthol. All things thugs aka _______ people like.
2
It's called French Vanilla #42 now.
1
Haha! I know. I tell that story to everyone that asks about the flavor but in all honesty, it is pretty good if you like that kind of thing. When I first discovered it, I'd been vaping a few different menthol flavors and this was a pleasant surprise. The menthol comes off mintier and sweeter but also clearer than some menthols (less "cold" maybe?)
But yes, I was quite surprised they ran with that name.
1
This the type of thing that is going to get our entire operation shit-canned.
3
"Not only is vaping bad, it's ANTI-SEMITIC"
if a news source is loony enough to say that,I doubt the people watching have enough brain cells to vote on any local bills for ecigs.
4
I upvoted only because your wording is hilarious, however alcohol companies do just fine with beers like Raging Bitch and Even More Jesus. Should be just fine with Holocustard.
2
Apparently the Red Dawn fluid is a "mystery flavor" by that company. I'm pretty sure most companies have them. There's a juice company out of a local B&M near where I live that has a fluid called "Spewnicorn," and its description is "Imagine a unicorn vomiting a rainbow." And yet, it's one of the best juices I've ever tasted.
2
Yeah, that's in a shop where you can test the flavor. You are buying completely blind if there is no flavor description when buying online. You're already taking a risk that you might buy a juice that you don't like. Without listing flavors you are asking people to really trust you. But with so many other juice vendors out there that do a good job detailing the flavor, why take the risk?
1
Ha, I didn't even see that one. That's really terrible but also really funny at the same time.
0
I for one am tired of cryptic stories to describe the complexity of a juice. tell me the god dam flavor profile and give it a clever name (or just call it whatever the flavor is) and be done with it.
28
Especially with online juices. I can understand if you're in the store and they can just hand you a tester but online you have no idea what the hell you're buying. If there is no description of the flavor then you might be buying a flavor that you detest, like an icy black licorice flavor for example, yuck. Which you would have never bought had there been a brief description of the flavors in the juice. I never buy juices online that don't have a good flavor description. That is, unless it's extremely popular and I can just watch a few reviews on youtube to get an understanding of the flavor.
5
Agree. Two sentences max. If you can fit something clever in there, great, but everything else is just extraneous text, AKA a waste of my time.
1
AAh...The taste of blood and the smell of death and gun powder.
23
And dirt! Also sweat. And a little after taste of puke.
edit: maybe hints of shit.
11
And dip spit.
5
Oh god. I just smelled my roommates tobacco juice and I had flash backs.
3
Oh gods, so much dip spit.
2
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
2
That was a great movie....
1
It has an AK on it so cosmoline also
2
Gunpowder tastes bad, but the smell of just burnt powder... omg. Would love some napalm dark fruity cinnamon-y flavor with the smell of gunpowder.
2
If a vendor can't be bothered to give me a general idea of what a flavor is supposed to taste like, then I cant be bothered to spend my money on it.
16
What is the flavor profile of coca-cola, or do you just buy it cuz it tastes good and you recognize the brand?
Now, you may not actually drink coke, but the point is you don't need to know exactly what the flavor is - it tastes like coke and you like it. So maybe this brand is going for something like a signature flavor, recognizable by name and having it's own taste (sort of).
For those curious, the main flavors in coke are: Vanilla, Cinnamon, Orange, Lime, Lemon, and Nutmeg.
2
It probably tastes like cola.
3
What probably tastes like cola?
1
$12.99 for a 16ml? People are on crack with these prices.
14
That's fucking 99 cents more than Whit E. Octopus' 30 ml, and that shit is off the fucking chain-wax.
6
Stop trying to make that a thing
12
Dude, he's streets ahead of the witty description game.
10
Frank you're never going to make streets ahead happen
-3
You'll have to kill me first!
-1
Can I get a flavor profile on Whit E. Octopus?
2
Which flavor, bud?
1
Maybe that's what's in it making it so expensive...
1
I absolutely hate when vendors do that! If I was looking for poetry to read I wouldn't be on a juice site. Just put the damn flavor profile there!
9
I feel like if I came out with a juice line it would have names like "It's Fucking Custard" and "Bunch of Fucking Apples".
I do appreciate some of the creative or funny names of juices though, it's just a real pain in the ass when the flavours aren't listed anywhere.
12
"Tasty fuckin' burger"
Say Watts Again, I dare you, I double-dare you motherfucker.
other flavors:
"Something sweet for the kids"
N*gga I already told you, it's something sweet for the fuckin' kids.
"Ammonia Pandemonia"
Better go back to cigarettes!
12
Saving these names for when I buy my DIY gear. Beautiful.
2
I dont care if people do that, but put the flavors you put in on it! Even if it's just "a collection of fruits with some cinnamon"
2
But if they list the flavors people can replicate it and sell it for $2.00/bottle and steal the profit!
0
where do i get $2 juices?
5
Vapewild. 2.99 for a 10ml. 4.99 for a 20ml, 6.99 for a 60ml, and 19.99 for a 120ml.
5
What's the catch here? Is it just shit juice?
1
Make it yourself following the flavor profile on high end juices..
3
Leviathan lists every ingredient in their juices!
1
When it comes to premium juice manufacturers there seems to be a trend of being absurd for the sake of being absurd.
9
You've hit upon a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I understand being vague in descriptions to make it a little harder to clone.... but I want to know what I am buying. Especially considering I have a "sensitivity" to sour apple. Within minutes of even smelling sour apple I get a massive headache. I don't think wanting to know what flavor something is is really that unreasonable.
8
Sooo... It tastes like 7.62's??
6
Yes, the m43 steel cased ones.
2
No, it tastes like shit and the two shops I go to don't see it for that reason.
2
LIQUID IS FINE.
0
OK.
1
It tastes like mountain dew code red, for any who are wondering. Flavor is pretty spot on.
6
I can't stand it when a juice description gives me absolutely no clue as to the flavor profile. I mean, based on dripTonic's site, I'd assume it tastes like burnt gunpowder and horrible flesh wounds.
There's a fine line between clever and stupid, and this is way over to the stupid side.
6
I've tried their Miss Samoa flavor, it's pretty good. That is a terrible description though.
5
Vaping it right now.
1
It doesn't tell me much but it was entertaining to read.
4
Because gangrene was already taken
3
The start reminds me of if iron maiden or manowar started writing juice descriptions
3
If manowar made juice no one but manowar would be allowed to vape it. Only they would own the right because everyone else is wimps and posers.
3
Lemmy could vape it.
3
It's deer blood flavored, like they drank in the film. (the original, fuck the remake)
3
Sounds like Peterman wrote that one
3
I just want a 34mg nic juice that tastes like Lucky Strikes, and has something offensive on it, or called Cracker juice, or something.
3
If you like things that taste like things, you will fucking love this juice. 100% things with a unexpected hint of stuff. Base notes steeped in we bet you wish you knew, with each exhale providing a refreshing wtf. Yum.
"Stuff n Thangs" by the Rick Grimes Juice Company
Don't hate.
"Coral, I told you not to run under .4 ohms!"
http://imgur.com/o8bspCN
Read this as "Rick James Juice Company"
"FUCK YO' COTTON"
Can't go back, Aspire.