Explain freedom of speech like I am your mother and I just found sexually explicit doodles of Muhammad in your notebook.

Mum, I told you not to go through my stuff! It's not that I'm messy, that's how I like to have it, and that doesn't give you the right to read it. Well, I drew it because I wanted to, that's why! And if I wanted to draw Hitler fucking an elephant while wearing a tutu, I'd bloody do it as well! Sorry, sorry. I mean, if I wanted to draw Hitler having sex wi... No! That's another one. I'm an adult! I can say fuck if I want to, fuck-fuckity-fucking-fuck! You shouldn't be able to dictate what I say and what I don't say. I know you raised me, don't start with that! But I am a full-grown human being, I have a mind of my own, and other people shouldn't be able to decide what it's ok for me to believe and what's not. That's personal. Oh, of course that means I have to draw it! How is it ok to think whatever I want if I don't put it on paper? Well, I don't care who sees it. I might be a bad influence but other people have their own minds as well. I doubt that they just won't be able to not being influenced. If you tell me what I can and can't draw, what's going to be next? What I say? Where I go? Are you influenced, mum? Does my drawing make you want to fuck Muhammad? Yep, I said it again! Fucking-fuckity-fuck!!

Mum? Mum, I'm sorry, can I come back in now, please? I'll behave, mum.

If not, can I have money for a pizza?

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Mom, that's my notebook. Give it baaack! You had no right to do that. You're always getting in my business. You just don't respect me.