How many got debt along with the girl?

I'm ashamed to admit I'm in the opposite boat. My wife has about $5k in student loans because she worked her ass off. I have over $30k because I didn't work my ass off (and I got a full-tuition scholarship, so I really should have no debt). Her dad taught her the value of a penny, and if I were to delegate our finances to her she could handle as good or better than I am. I haven't done that because I need to get better at it, and I want to be in control of my family's finances. So yeah... Financially I'm more of a burden than she is. That's going to change soon: we're both starting home businesses in the next few months so we can get out of the hole. Once I get rid of my school debt I know my SMV will jump up.

My wife had no debt when we started dating - her grandfather paid for her to go to college. I had about ~10k of student debts. It wound up being paid off with money I inherited from my Grandmother when she died right around the time I graduated. We were, as such, extremely lucky. We got married after this and had zero debt - and, additionally, we just did a courthouse wedding for $30, and had a big savings to put a down payment on a house.

Our only debt at this point is our mortgage, and I manage our finances like an iron-fisted dictator and prioritize savings, retirement and paying our mortgage off quickly above everything else.

I acquired around 130K in debt.

When I met my current boyfriend, I had ~$5,000 left on a car loan, and that was it. My boyfriend had ~$40,000 in student loans and that was it (he was about to graduate college when I met him). In the four years since then, we've bought a house, I had 5-6 car repairs (about $2,500), and he bought me new hearing aids ($2,500). So we now have a mortgage that's less than renting, my car will be paid off in April, and we each have about $3,000 on credit cards.

I was probably the better person with money when we met, but that's mostly because I'd gotten in debt right after graduating high school and had to dig myself out of it. So I was pretty accustomed to going without things like TV or a comfortable home temperature if necessary to pay down debt. So when we had to make the big purchases that come with buying a house, I was pretty nervous and was watching closely to see how he'd handle it. I would have rather lived more frugally the first year of home ownership, but he'd rather incur some debt and live comfortably.

Now he's definitely surpassed me in watching the spending. At his request, I gave him a copy of the spreadsheet I'd made for tracking my budget and spending. It's been a couple of years since, and now he has several spreadsheets where he tracks his budget, savings, credit card balances, and even gas expenditure. He's even got all the spreadsheets hooked to each other. Way over my head!

I have to bite my tongue when he buys something unnecessary that's a couple of hundred dollars with us currently being in debt. He's learning in his own way, at his own pace.

No cc debt, but 190k in debt at 6% before marriage (law school). She couldn't refinance to 2.7% rate without my income, so I cosigned and now we're both on the hook for that debt.

We're not scrounging for cash, and we both have jobs. I see it as something I had to do slow the bleeding.

This is discussed in Bonecrackr's book.

Males have productive surplus of around 80%, that means males can live with 20% of their productivity. Woman have fertiliy surplus. Marriage is the exchange of fertility for the 80% productivity surplus males have.

Thus you will always be worse off if you mate with a woman, and better off if you mate with a male, helps explain why most gays are so rich, imagine having extra 160% a month to save or expend.

My wife and I paid off our combined student debts two years into our marriage.

Her debt was less than 5% of the total, because I attended a much more expensive school.

My husband and I are a mixed bag. I had about $15k of student loan debt with a masters degree that I do use and need, but a credit score over 800, and financial knowledge given to me by very savvy parents. Husband had no student loan debt but no degree, 300-ish credit score, and zero financial knowledge that was also a gift from his parents. He is graduating this summer with $40K in student loan debt but in a marketable degree and he will start with a higher salary than I have after 8 years of experience.

It's been good for us both for him control over the finances even though (and maybe because) he isn't making money now- he is getting a four year degree in 2.5 years- but no income. The house is in my name because of the credit score, so that and me having the income could have upset the balance of power. Because he can start at a higher salary he decided it was worth the investment to get done more quickly, start making the money, and then work hard to pay the debt off as quickly as possible. It all makes me nervous, so it is wonderful to have his clear head and good leadership figuring it out.

It will be interesting this summer to see how/if things change when he gets that job and starts bringing in more money than I do.

My wife had about 20k in student debt when we were dating; to her credit, she had that paid off (without my assistance) before we got married.

My wife and I went into our wedding with zero debt and paid cash for that as well as our honeymoon in Switzerland. Bought a house a few months later, have been aggressively decorating, landscaping, fixing things, etc, all for cash.

A year before our wedding last May we were collectively in about $15,000 worth of debt. A year after, and we are currently up by $10,000 and rising quickly. Though we have a nice house in a desirable area and live pretty well, we still operate well beneath our means, are saving scads of money now and are doing better financially than most of our friends. We are on track to retire in good shape with a paid off house. Hopefully that plan stays true.

I married a very sensible, educated woman with modest and practical tastes, so that helps immensely. She managed to graduate from Columbia University with a master's degree and zero debt, if that says anything. But the big thing that helped us together was taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class (which I mentioned in another thread recently). All common sense stuff that you can find online, but the way it was presented just clicked in a way that had not previously.

With couples especially, it is critical to have your money game squared away. It is too big a stressor to not have a meticulous plan in place that results in some level of wealth building. I handle all our financial planning, but meet with my wife at least once a month to discuss our budget and get her input. We focus on the immediate expenses as well as what we need a few months out. The long term stuff is all "set it and forget it".

You gotta do the money thing together, gotta have a mutual vocabulary for communicating about it and stick to your plans.

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Yeah, this crap doesn't end when you're young. My LTR girlfriend and I have been dating six years (not living together, different towns with kids in high school) and we're both in our 50's. Me: I only have a mortgage. She: mortgage, 35k home equity loan maxed out, carrying $14000 on her credit cards. Just took out $24000 loan for her daughters first year of college. WTF? I finally sat her down and said this shits ends or I'm out of here. Bunch of complaining, forcing us to go to her counselor (topic: my lack of commitment!).

I finally got her to realize I was serious. I pulled out the spread sheet and laid out a 9 month plan to kill the credit cards, a three year plan to kill the home equity loan and get her to get her ex to pony up his part for college (she took out the whole parents portion without even asking him to do his part). If she follows my plan she has enough income ($100,000) to cover $10k a year for the college and still put cash away for retirement. Her ex claims he will cover his part but if not she needs to get a court order detailing his payments.

It's weird: she just doesn't seem to make staying solvent any kind of priority at all. Seems like her thoughts are: Money comes into account, I buy what I want. If there isn't enough, I just borrow it. She's not stupid, multiple college degress, whip smart, but seems to have never put Thought 1 on this.

No obvious excessive consumption, either. Driving a 10 year old car, smallish condo, no flying travel, no fancy clothes, no excessive eating out. It's weird. The only obvious extravagence was she was spending $1500 a month on organic food.

She has been following the plan pretty closely. Maybe a month behind after 5 months just due to unaccounted for stuff like we all have. She should have the credit cards gone by summer.

I'll tell you, my kids will not be that way. My daughter just finished college with no debt due to over $100k in scholarships and help from me, my ex and my parents. She saved up in the last year and is right now in Australia for 5 weeks, she paid for most of it waitressing. She went to Chase to get a travel credit card and due to her outstanding credit got one with a $9k limit. The loan guy was shocked when that number came out of the computer. He asked if she could handle this and she told him she'd never had a late payment and paid it off each month. He said he's not sure he'd seen that in a college kid before.

She said she be in cabs with other student when their phone rings and they'd say, oh, it's the collections guys calling again on their third card that is mixed out. She could not believe how stupid her friends are.

I raised her right!