Struggling to make the transition from more platonic to more sensual and not from a lack of good times. Wouldn't mind hearing some does and don'ts story-wise.
Posted Apr 1, 2015, 11:13 PM UTC
[deleted]
It would probably be an ex of mine (he told me all this after we'd been dating a few months): I was working a temp job in a call center one fall right before school started again, and I guess he'd noticed me someway or another. We got to choose our desks every day, and he started picking desks near me and peeking at my screen to try and figure out what I was into, so he'd know what to talk to me about if he could start talking to me.
He took his lunch break at the same time as me one day and came into the breakroom where I was lounging on the couch. He made a show of getting upset about those plastic rings that come around soda cans and started pulling them apart to get my attention. The silence started to get a little awkward and he was cute, so I asked what he was doing and offered to help. He ended up asking me on a date the next day after we'd chatted a little bit during our shifts. I had no idea he'd been so deliberate about it, and it was really cute.
A word of caution: this was really cute and memorable to me because he told me after we'd already been dating for a while. If he'd told me this on, say, our second date, I would not have been nearly as receptive.
Well, most memorable simply because it's the most recent was a couple hours ago on the public bus.
I'm on my way to class, ear buds in, reading stuff for said class. Not really paying attention. I am one of two people on the bus until these two guys get on.
I see them walk down the middle, but one stops at the seat directly in front of me (these particular seats are in an L-shape). This has happened before, so I'm mentally prepared for what I'm sure is going to happen - because why else would he sit there when most others take seats as far from anyone else as possible? I try hard not to look up from what I'm doing, but I know he's talking. I lost the battle and my eyes flashed up. He knows he has my attention. I take one earbud out and he apparently starts over, going on and on about how beautiful I am. I do the whole disinterested "Yeah, thanks" thing and put the earbud back in and return my attention to my phone. He passes a hand in front of me to get my attention again because he didn't properly read the social cue or couldn't care to heed it. I take the earbud out again. He immediately asks if I have a boyfriend. Of course I do. Just for him. He goes, "Well, you can have my number anyway. Wink" I say "No, thanks." and in goes the earbud again.
The bus stops. Someone comes on but then it stalls. For about 10 minutes. I pretend to be texting the entire time so that the guy doesn't decide this is a good time for casual chitchat and another chance to push his luck.
The takeaway from this is don't ignore social cues. Don't keep pushing if you think a stranger is disinterested.
I had a friend who I didn't find sexually attractive at all....until we went dancing. There was something so hot about the way he was dancing with me and all up against me that got me really into him.
my SO's friend, before my SO and I were a thing, messaged me and just said "so do you want to play pokemon and smoke weed"
among their friend group, apparently it was a well known fact that he wanted to ask me out. it was a really awkward way to ask someone to hang out or go on a date, though??
My current BF asked me out on our first date by asking if I was free that night and when I said yes said 'How can you be free if we're having drinks?'
Definite smooth move, Ferguson.
Email. We'd been friends a while (and he had caught my eye) and exchanged emails occasionally for a few months after he left the area for a new job. Then I invited him to a show, but he couldn't go and there was scope in his reply for me to wonder whether he was flirting. I dropped a line back that was tempting a flirty response. Would it land on deaf ears or was my spideysense working correctly? Ah, he's replied... Bingo!
Hooked up that evening :-D
And there's a papertrail in my inbox to revisit whenever :-)
Awe. That's pretty cute, too. My first relationship, or first love I should say, sort of started from emails, as well. My american family had made friends with a Belgian family and this Belgian family had a daughter around my age. When the Belgian family came to visit the states, the daughter and I hit it off really well. After they went back home, we stayed in touch via silly little emails that started off somewhat short and commedic and over the course of two years grew longer and increasingly intimate to the point that when she graduated from secondary school she decided to visit me and the US for her entire summer. Needless to say, those three months were full of summer lovin and we eventually decided to stay together and try to make a long distance relationship work. Ended up moving to Belgium a year later in order to be with her. Enjoyed every minute of our relationship but I missed home a bit too much and we ended up saying our good byes after about a total of 2 and a half years. I guess the moral of the story is that emails are a great place to start :)
A guy that I thought knew I wasn't into him went secret admirer on me. He left a bunch of stuff on my doorstep for a couple of days. On the final day he left a pizza with a giant heart made of pepperonis on my door step. (We worked at the same pizza place so I figured out who it was.) I had to tell him that I didn't think of him the same way, but that the pizza was delicious.
Moral of the story? Pizza won't make her like you anymore than she already doesn't.
He started asking me to do more stuff one-on-one whereas we'd always been more group friends before. Then one night he asked me to a movie, and then afterwards we went to Starbucks and then to his house for another movie - with his mom and sister. At some point during the night he mentioned that he'd always thought I was pretty and I had to go to the bathroom I was blushing so hard. He took me home and we made plans to hang out again.
Then, next time we got together, he'd bought me a present for my birthday and had written me a letter that basically said he thought I was a super awesome person and he wished we'd hung out more in high school and also that he'd like something romantic if I was down. It was made abundantly clear, though, that there was no pressure and that he thought of me as a wonderful friend as well.
Anyway, I finished the letter and then jumped on his lap and kissed him. Boy's good.
Ahh fuck yea. A letter. That's so cute and anti-typical these days. Thanks for sharing!
I like letters because you get the forethought and planning of a text/email but the personal touch of in-person.
You're welcome, too! I love telling that story honestly.
Old school! Awesome!