Source
r/breakingmom•
_eighty2

Stop talking about my son's genitalia!!

lady rant

A relative started messaging me. She's currently making odd comments on my Facebook because my newborn isn't circumcised. I don't really have any super strong feelings in regard to male circumcision. Half of my family is uncut, so is about half my husband's family. All the guys are happy. I don't know why my son's penis enrages her so.

My son was born with a birth injury. I had precipitous labor and fucked up my pelvis as well as my son's head. He is fine, but was born tiny (smallest baby in the nursery even though he was near 42 weeks) with a rather large hematoma on the top of his skull. I didn't want him to go through anything else painful that wasn't a hundred percent necessary and that's what sealed the deal for us. I took care of my uncut baby cousins as well as circumcised, so it wasn't something new to me.

I don't regret it. It was the right decision for us and I can understand both sides of the debate. I'll pay for a circumcision when he's older if that's what he wants. As of now, he has no issues with his penis and his hematoma is still healing. In the meantime, mama is trying to relax and has to have physical therapy. I have no time to deal with shit. I don't want to debate grandmothers. I have had zero issues keeping his genitalia clean. If you don't know how to clean it, I'll show you. I don't mind. I just can't deal with people that overreact and act like an uncircumcised penis is some kind of cursed and diseased rubix cube that will cause him to be a life-long virgin.

I can't believe people.

Posted Jun 4, 2015, 10:08 PM UTC

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not_just_amwac#1 = BJ, #2 = Alexander Richard, eta 26/10/2015•

Yeah, I don't get the whole "but why wouldn't you?" thing. How about "because every reason people give me for doing it has a non-invasive solution"?

15
Truth_hungry•

MIL decided my son's penis was going to be the subject of conversation the Saturday before Mother's Day.

"Has he peed on you yet?"

"Hey, has he peed on you?"

I was breastfeeding & fumbling with the goddamn cover I have to use in front of them. "I'm sorry...what?"

"Has he peed on you, you know....with his penis?"

Cue my ohdeargodfuckinghelpme look to my husband who mercifully stepped in "nah, he's peed definitely but nothing dramatic"

"Oh, is he circumcised? She made you circumcise him right?" (Bitch! I know how your marriage works, but in this relationship no one makes anyone else do anything).

"No - we aren't doing that."

Cue the Nose of Disdain. Screw you lady. We aren't following your parenting template.

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Truth_hungry•

She asked about again (she's really really hung up on the fact that we're not circumsizing - I guess because her husband put up resistance against it too, but he caved). I just stared at her stone-cold & then said "I do not discuss my children's genitalia."

That subject is now closed.

12
cant_be_me2 under 3 yrs, 0 sleep or sanity. Wheeee!•

Has he peed on you...you know, with his penis?

What else would he pee on you with? His toe?

6
Truth_hungry•

Your comment made me snort coffee through my nose.

Seriously though - I think the bitch is either stupid or has early stages of Alzheimer's.

2
aboutagirl22one adorable little shit head•

Start asking invasive questions about her genitals? I never know what to say when people preach about this kind of stuff. Luckily our families just assumed our son was circumcised like they'd prefer and the few who've happened to see he isn't simply asked about how it might effect diaper changes. That was it.

9
Red_RidingHood•

I hate the pressure to circumsize especially because I succumbed to it & regretted it. I was on the fence & everyone kept telling me I needed to do it, mostly because it was "weird". It was a bunch of bullshit and I regretted it as soon as they brought him back to my hospital room hysterically crying and scratching his eyes out. It was so unnecessary and I felt guilty as hell for letting a doctor I didn't even like do that to my new baby.

9
MrsTroy•

I feel the same way, except they had me right there with him when they did it! Watching my first son get circumcised traumatised me, I can only imagine what it was like for my poor baby! I'm pregnant with our second son right now and there is no way I am going to let him be circumcised. After talking to my husband (who wasn't present for the procedure), showing him videos of other babies being circumcised, and medical facts about it, he now agrees with me and is fully on board to leave our second son uncut.

6
lecoueroublie•

You're not alone! I did the exact same thing. :-\ what's done is done though. They will be fine, there are plenty of circumsized guys who go through life just fine. I wish the whole issue wasn't so polarized.

3
cloudsnapper•

Good luck with your physical therapy! That's bizarre that she's so concerned. My aunt asked if we'd done or not, just curious. We're nosy in my family. I told her we hadn't, and it was mostly because there wasn't a strong reason to do it. Apparently my late grandfather had some penis complication as a young man and had to get circumsized as an adult and it was terrible to recover from.

Long story to say, if he was still alive, he'd have a reason to have an opinion on what we did. But he was polite and wouldn't have told me a story about his old man wang.

Do you have to do anything to keep it clean? Because I wasn't told I needed to and it always seems clean unless it has lint or poop on it.

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[deleted]•

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_eighty2OPBaby boy and 1 manchild•

I just make sure clean the pee-hole, that's about it. I don't roll anything back or anything super different.

3
lorienellen•

I have two girls and am thankful we never had to make that decision or deal with everyone's opinion!

I wanted to chime in and say I had a precipitous labor this time as well! Everyone says I'm so lucky but man that was an adventure. I'm starting my PT next week!

4
themildonesFirst-time Incubator•

Oh gosh. My DH and I should be finding out what we're having next week and if it's a boy, I just know I'm going to be facing an argument with DH and ridicule from his family. I'm not necessarily against circumcision, but I'm against doing it to my son, if that makes sense. And DH has already said he wants to have him cut, and I just...ugh. I'm kind of a push-over but I don't think this is something I can/want to be swayed on.

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hikeitoffI have no idea what I'm doing.•

It won't happen if you say no.

5
themildonesFirst-time Incubator•

I know, I just know I'll feel bad if I outright overrule him like that. I want him to agree with me, you know?

2
hikeitoffI have no idea what I'm doing.•

I do understand wanting to be on the same page with something like that. However, if it's something that will make you that unhappy if it does happen, speak up for yourself. It doesn't HAVE to be done when he is born, but it's best it is because he won't remember. However, if I saw my little guy in pain because someone put a scalpel to his little man parts, I'd be inconsolable.

4
NaramoixF, 7yo & N, 3yo•

I have never seen a circumsized penis. It wasn't even a question here with my son. How come it's very common over there?? I am genuinely curious btw, I don't judge people who do it, each to their own... I am just wondering why it's so common over there.

3
_eighty2OPBaby boy and 1 manchild•

I'm not sure why it's so common. Some people do it for religious reasons, some people think it's cleaner. They used to do it automatically at the hospitals here until the 2000s, just assuming you wanted it done unless you happened to say something beforehand. Now they ask you if you want to circumcise.

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NaramoixF, 7yo & N, 3yo•

Wow... I never knew that, I am actually pretty surprised by the fact it used to be done automatically at the hospitals. Is it getting less in the past years? I've seen a few topics like this on here and was always a bit confused.

1
_eighty2OPBaby boy and 1 manchild•

From what I can tell, it's at least 50/50 but it depends on the area. In the baby groups I'm in, I'd say most people have their sons uncircumcised.

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wcuhatter89Baby MJ driving me crazy since 8/17/13•

Why does the relative even know that he's uncircumcised? I can count the number of times my baby girl's vagina has come up in conversation (aside from with hubby or the doctor) on exactly NO hands. Circumcised, uncircumcised, I've never been able to figure out why we are even sharing the details of their peens with the world! Seems private to me.

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walkonthebeach•

You are lucky you don't live in Malaysia — because there, over 95% of infant girls are circumcised in modern hospitals:

https://web.archive.org/web/20130307104149/http://aandes.blogspot.com/2010/04/circumcision.html

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fractalfarmerI will not negotiate with tiny terrorists•

Almost no-one here circumcises outside the Jewish community, and thus far there hasn't been an epidemic of penises falling off. We just wash em.

2