I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused

So the backstory is my crazy Nmom is a size 2, and over my entire life MY weight has been one of the biggest hotbuttons for her in life. Incredibly toxic and abusive for years, she's pulled EVERY trick in the book when it comes to try to manipulate, control, berate and abuse me over this.

About 2 years ago, I pretty much had it with my FOO's multiple-N-dynamic and the overall shenanigans, and I threw up major walls and barriers - metaphorically, my own Fortress of Solitude. But instead of the old pattern of drama and trying to change them, I disengaged. I might swoop into "Metropolis" for events and to inquire solicitously about someone's health, but like Superman, where I live is thousands of miles away when it comes to them knowing what's going on in my life. It's been the healthiest, best help for stress, decision of my life. I'm not full-on NC, but most of anything they can access about me is under a very controlled flow of information. I'm not always perfect about it, but ... I've gotten pretty damned good.

So back in March, finally having health insurance for the first time in 7 years, I finally got to go back to the doctor again. I knew my weight was up and it was going to be a Come To Jesus kinda meeting... and it was.It coincided with me needed to also see a specialist because I was having major issues with my bad knee - and who did I call for a name of a good orthopedic surgeon? My dad. He sold implants for 45 years before retiring. Unfortunately, even that small, tiny request triggered my mother to call and badger me and try to get all up in my shit about my regular doctor's appointment and what the doctor had to say? Hmmm?

I gave her some vague "nothing I hadn't expected, I'll be working on this and fixing the knee is my biggest priority according to the docs" - and then I shut my damned mouth, for once. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that years ago, I'd have been seeking approval and encouragement and tying myself in knots when it was withheld - which would have played right into the Npower. This time, it HAS been different. I went about doing Weight Watchers, following that program, creating whole new menus and recipes for my family, cooking different styles than my butter-and-cream classic French style, start moving (very slow progress, unfortunately, my knee is still a real bitch.) I know she stalks me on Facebook so I have posted NOTHING there. And I don't "like" or "share" anything that has to do with "healthy" or weight loss or exercise there. I save them on a secret Pinterest board, lol.

I have successfully maintained what I thought of as "Radio Silence" for 4 months now. But here's the thing - the weather's warmed up, the summer clothes are out, and there have been parties and events we've had our paths cross. I have now lost, as of today, 28+ pounds... now, it's a drop in the bucket of where my final goal will be, but still, while I was plus-sized, I wasn't Jabba the Hut.

Not my family. Not a single word. Not one single person. NOT EVEN an "oh you look nice today" generalized compliment when I've been dressed up for a party. Nada, zip, zilch.

What was remarked on? My mother asked me if my hair was fake. No lie.

I have long hair, I just got about 3 inches taken off the bottom, so now along my back it's about "bra-strap level"... if I tilt my head back it overlaps my waistband of my yoga pants. We went to an outdoor christening party on a particularly hot day, and I just couldn't stand all that hair hanging down int he humidity, so I put 3/4th of it up in a braided bun half-updo, with two little braids from the sides behind my ears wrapped around it. I wore a maxi dress that was shaped and short-sleeved... the size of my body was clearly visible in the cut of this dress, and for the first time since last summer, I wasn't wearing a big drapey waterfall cardigan topper over my outfit. So I was actually nervous... figuring, "there's no way I'll be able to deny I'm losing weight once people see me now."

Nobody noticed. Nobody said a word.

So I figured that maybe the weight loss wasn't all that noticeable yet - I do have a lot more to lose.

What DID my mother do? She kind of motioned me over to where she was sitting with her friends, like she had a secret, then whispered asking if my hair was real, or if the bun was a hairpiece. I stood back up, "YES it's my OWN HAIR!" and just looked at her like she was nuts. She got all flustered and tried to cover, "Oh, I know you have a lot of hair, I just never saw you wear it like that before!" Yeah, whatever, Mom.

When we were riding home I told all this to my husband - he was like, "Sage, it is noticeable - but she can't give you advice or make it about her, she can't go running around telling people HOW FAT you were by telling them how many pounds you've taken off, or play the concern troll that she "just prays you'll be healthy". It's you, looking better, and if she acknowledges it she'd have to pay you a goddamned compliment for once in your life."

I love him.

I still questioned, to myself, if the loss was even visible yet. I know my clothes are looser, but I can't really tell, it's melted away so gradually, and there's still so much more to go. But about a week later, at the school, another mom came running up to me asking how much I'd lost and she was SO enthusiastic. She was the first outside of my husband and my best friend. People have begun to notice the change, and remark on it. People who had no idea I was trying to diet - so the change is visible now. A week later, my Edad swung by the house to get his Father's Day gift - away from my mom, just the two of us, he really liked the gift... but about how I looked? not a word. Not a single word.

Normally, I'd be hurt, I'd question this, I'd be in a tizzy and let it bother me and be, as they used to say, "too sensitive" about it... but for some reason, I find it hilarious. I had all these plans made of how I'd deflect the questions, how I'd cope with the intrusiveness, how I'd deal with the love-bombing and badgering... but it's like my patent, all voer again. The weekend I submitted the final finished application, I was at their shore house, but we had to come down late because I was having a final conference call with my lawyer - they never said a single word about it. Never asked a question, complete and total disinterest. Purposeful disinterest. Can someone explain THAT to me? Is it all N's or just my boxed set came with a bonus feature?

All the people who are in my parents' social network of family and friends adore them, and they'd never believe this. My parent's are "the most wonderful people on earth" and everyone loves them.

Apparently, invisibility is my new superpower.