I Had a Dream Last Night About the Kings Fiasco

I was drinking with Vlade Divac in an empty dive bar in the early hours of the morning. We were both seated on stools at an old and garish off-white faux-marble bar hunched over flat beers as I listened to his drunken mumblings. He was bemoaning his woes and hardships this off-season about how much he hated Dan Fegan and that Karl wasn't helping either.

In one poignant moment he mumbled “I miss Mike...we shouldn't have done him dirty like we did. We did this to ourselves.” My nods and murmurs of agreement halted, not knowing what to say. Of course I agreed with him, but this was no time to gloat. I was here to comfort my vastly wealthy friend, not point out the obvious, any schmuck could do that in his sleep.

After the pause became slightly too elongated and awkward Vlade let out a weighty sigh before rapidly saying “We’ll trade Cousins.” and ploughing forward with “But not to the Lakers. Fuck the Lakers! Aside from that draft pick they’ve got nothing we want.” Hiccup “I’ll trade him to Philly or someone, fuck with the whole league, we’ll take all 47 of Philly’s draft picks for him.” At this point even my drunken dream self knew this wasn't possible but I let him continue. “I’d trade him to Seattle if I could. Fuck all those vultures. Fuck the Lakers. Fuck the agents. Fuck the twitter bomb people. Fuck it I’ll trade him to Kentucky. Send him back to school. See what they make of that.”

This man was a lunatic, if he carried on this way he was a danger to himself and to me. This was like giving a random fan, or worse Bill Simmons an actual trade machine. A man with Divac’s power and influence in the NBA and a team owner behind him that’s crazy enough to buy into these wild schemes.

I attempted to steer things back on course but I was still partly in disbelief that he was sharing this information and opinions with me and suffering from a guilty conscience I blurted out that I wouldn't share whatever scoop he gave me on twitter. "I wouldn't stoop that low." I claimed. "I won't cash in on this. You're my friend Vlade. I won't take part in that circus on twitter*." To which he gratefully and mumbled thanks before beginning to divulge where Cousins would go...

Unfortunately I woke up around this point and didn’t get any precognitive specifics of where Boogie would end up apart from a vague and unexplained feeling that Texas would be in his future.

*^A ^man ^of ^my ^word(even ^in ^my ^dreams), ^I ^haven't ^gone ^near ^twitter, ^but ^I ^didn't ^say ^anything ^about ^reddit. ^Long ^live ^Mike ^Malone!