[1759] Cricket

Pretty sure I won't get tagged as a leech, but I've been away a while so I'll critique some things D:

Note for critics: This is a short story I wrote for r/nosleep. It is going to be made into an audio-production (voice actors/sound effects/etc) and they liked the story well enough as-is to contact me.... so it can't change too much.

But I am not satisfied with it. It needs some cleaning up.

Please help me to do so. Thanks <3

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16i276kCJz3Whm2CSj52Pc4xzBBzxT0dFcZoyfJYVrtE/edit?usp=sharing