[Confession] I think that post is probably horseshit.
Come on ... It basically reads like a scare pamphlet about the evils of waiting until marriage from some kind of weird, bizarro version of the 1950s.
Posted Jul 24, 2015, 4:43 AM UTC
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It's an awfully boring lie then
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I mean, I haven't been married that long (3 years) but we were both virgins until we tied the knot, and we just went into it knowing that we were going to have to learn, and practice, and not be shy or embarrassed about trying things that might feel a little weird or silly at first. If there's something you know your partner likes, you should try to get good at it. That's true whether you're having sex in marriage or outside of it, isn't it? Or am I just an old fashioned naive simpleton?
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And now look at you. You're a sex bobomb!
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STOP TEMPTING ME, SINNER!
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I mean, I haven't been married that long (3 years) but we were both virgins until we tied the knot, and we just went into it knowing that we were going to have to learn, and practice, and not be shy or embarrassed about trying things that might feel a little weird or silly at first. If there's something you know your partner likes, you should try to get good at it.
This seems intuitive to me, too, but I think some people are more concerned with being with the right person, rather than the effort of continuing to get better at the things you are doing.
Or am I just an old fashioned naive simpleton?
That's a given. :-)
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[deleted]
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Hmm ... I think it's possible for people to make that kind of thing up, but looking at the tone and the details, I don't think so.
And because of the counter-narrative myth that "sexual compatibility" means you have a single lock that fits your key or vice-versa, anyone who encounters difficulty just decides they're mis-matched and quits trying. Nevermind that most people who have only been having sex for 3 or 4 years are still just getting started. Heck, unless you have top-1% level inborn gifts, I don't think you can play piano 3 or 4 years and expect to be Jelly Roll Morton, either.
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the counter-narrative myth that "sexual compatibility" means you have a single lock that fits your key…
Wait, I'm lost! Are you saying it’s a myth that "sexual compatibility" means you have a single lock that fits your key, etc? and that sexual compatibility really means something else?
Or is it that the whole notion of sexual compatibility is a myth?
Or is it a myth that everyone who encounters difficulty just quits trying? I’m genuinely not understanding what’s being said here.
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Yeah, I kind of said it poorly.
What I meant is that "sexual compatibility" is a myth. The idea that you have a single lock that fits your key, is just a sexual version of the "The One" myth, that there's one special person with whom you don't have to work to have a good relationship.
Both are dangerous, for kind of the same reason--they keep people from realizing that every relationship, including the sexy parts of it, is one that requires work, dedication, trust, listening, and real thought. And every relationship where both partners are working on that, improves over time.
Instead if you have the myth that there's a "right person" and "wrong person" and your goal is to be with the "right" one, then when, (not if) you discover some challenge in your relationship, then even if you're trying to work through it, that effort will be weakened by your mental counter-narrative that maybe this is just not a "compatible" person.
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I always find it fascinating when people think their penises are important. It's a sign that they have some severe issues with the rest of their lives.
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Or worse, when they place undue importance on other peoples' penises
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Some people think every marriage should have one.
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You're saying he made up that he's sexually unfulfilled in his marriage?
Lol. He sure got you with that one!!!!!!!!!!