Another year of Stoicism, 4 short responses to FAQs

I noticed today that it's my cakeday, and in the past year I've really enjoyed interacting with everyone on this subreddit. As a way to repay your kindness, I'd like to share four responses to the four most common threads I see in this forum. The four most common threads I've noticed deal with apathy, motivation, pain, and ambition, so I'll respond to those in that order.

1. Something bad just happened: How do I not give a fuck?

It's very common to be disappointed; it's equally common to feign apathy. Lots of people seeking apathy tumble into Stoicism. So I want to clarify: Stoicism is not an "I don't give a fuck" philosophy. Stoicism that places virtue as the top priority; in other words, Stoicism "gives a fuck" about virtue. And virtue lets people set priorities far above the temporary setbacks that leave other people disappointed and feigning apathy.

So in response to the original question, I would say the best way to not give a fuck about little things is to give a fuck about the big things: Wisdom, Justice, Courage, and Moderation. Make one good choice after another. Do good first; tranquility may follow.

2. How do I beat procrastination and get motivated for something important?

I see lots of people seeking motivation, and a few seeking discipline. The common trend imagines motivation as a prerequisite for action, but this puts the cart before the horse. Motivation is as fickle as any other emotion: imagine if people only worked when they felt queasy. So give up on motivation and begin now. If you're already comfortable with the idea of working without motivation, I have some further motivation for working when you're uncomfortable.

Some people have given up on motivation but still wait for tranquility. That's my mistake. I often have trouble working when I feel anxiety, depression, and dread. But on those days, it's a fool's errand to wait for tranquility, because tranquility is a side-benefit of good priorities. So I recommend that you begin now, even before you feel emotionally ready. "Do it scared," as the new saying goes. Even if you're in the clutches of anxiety, depression, or dread, you can still make a virtuous decision.

3. How do I recover from painful treatment by people I trust?

I see that lots of people have pain from the way they're treated by partners, family, friends, coworkers, and strangers in need of charity. These people are able to hurt us so deeply only because we admit them such special priority in our hearts.

It's strange to say, but even our favorite people don't really see anyone objectively. Even people who have the best of intentions cannot step outside of their own experience, and sometimes our loved ones don't even have the best of intentions. Therefore, I encourage you to recognize that painful treatment is superficial, limited, and biased. When someone gives you an insult that you think may cut to your core, remember that it's only a reaction to what they see on the surface. It's as superficial as if they corrected your table manners. So when someone says something about you that gives you pain, remember the spirit of the Enchiridion: "They would not let me off so lightly if they knew my true faults." Focus yourself on correcting your lapses from virtue, and remember that the comments of others are superficial.

4. How can stoicism be reconciled with big goals?

Last week I had the chance to see a movie called "Tomorrowland," starring George Clooney. It's a movie that contrasts two different futures: one in which everybody's resigned to failure, vice, and corruption; the other in which a few people still try to heal the world, make virtuous decisions, and account for their own moral character. I think this movie is highly relevant to people's misconception of Stoicism.

Again, people often approach Stoicism with the mis-impression that it's the philosophy of "I don't give a fuck," but this attitude makes you feel less ashamed about a world where you don't have to try. The apathetic attitude frankly incompatible with the historical record of Stoics who were engaged in politics, public service, and education.

So if you have big goals, you're in good company! Cicero said that Cato behaved as if he lived in Plato's Republic, even though he lived in the dunghill of Rome. But like Cato, make sure that your goals encourage you to make virtuous decisions today, so that in the long term you'll be on the right side of history. As MLK said, the moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice. You may have big goals, but Providence has even bigger goals.