Me [31M] with my wife [28 F], I get jealous of her friendships/texting other guys and I think she's been deleting/hiding the texts lately.

Burner account for reasons. Sorry for the wall-o-text...

I know I have trust issues. I just want to know what you guys think and just how crazy you think I am?

So first some back story. I have always been the jealous type. I think it stems from my parents almost getting divorced when I was about 13 because my dad cheated. This is my 3rd major relationship and the first two, in my mind, kind of just confirmed my jealous thoughts when they ended.

The first relationship was right after high school, lasted a little more than a year and ended after she went down south to some army base (can't remember why) and she didn't call me for almost a week. She was the slutty type and I suspected she was cheating on me, but never had any hard evidence. I ended it when she got back, out of paranoia and really I never did think I could trust her. A few months later she was engaged to some Army guy down south, which in my head just confirmed my suspicions.

The second major relationship was with a single mother. We were together for about 5 years and I loved her kid with all my heart. I had never trusted anyone more than her. Well one night I stayed home and watched her son while she went to someones birthday party. There was a guy in her school that she always talked to and mentioned, but she assured me that there would never be anything between them. He was disgusting and she had zero attraction to him. She told me that night that he was not going and she didn't care. For some reason I had a bad feeling and decided to check her phone for the first time in about 4 years. I see her texting him right after she left asking if he wanted her to go pick him up. He basically said 'no thanks' and something like 'keep your shirt on you floozy' (she had breast implants if that matters). That didn't sit well with me. I confronted her and she said someone else wanted her to bring him for her. Well about 6 months later our relationship ended because I got into some legal trouble and she didn't want that around her son. I don't blame her one bit and still to this day my biggest regret is hurting her son. Anyways, a few months later I found out that she was dating this guy that she had zero attraction to. Again, in my head confirming that my jealous suspicions were right.

Now for my wife, my third major relationship. We met about 4 years ago. We recently got married a few months ago. In the beginning I guarded my feelings for quite awhile because I know I get attached way to easily. Well after about 6 months of being exclusive, I got a feeling that something was wrong and I decided to check her phone (I know this is wrong and I shouldn't be doing this, I just can't help myself sometimes). I find a text from her male coworker that she talks about fairly frequently, saying something like 'you, me and a bottle of tequila sounds like a good time'. This is not cool with me. I confront her and she assures me that they are just friends. Other coworkers tried to get them together awhile ago, but nothing ever happened and they are just good friends. I basically told her that she would have to end her friendship with him in order to stay with me. Which she did (Was I wrong for this?).

So another year or so goes by and she transfered to another store location. She tells me all about the people there everyday, but after awhile I notice that she almost never mentions a certain guy there. I get my jealous feeling again and started looking at her texts and facebook. It seems that she is better friends with him than anyone else there. So I asked her why she never mentions him when they are practically bff's. She says because she doesn't want me to get jealous for no reason. But I'm sitting here wondering why she mentions a few other guys almost constantly. I have no jealousy towards them, but this one guy that she is best friends with she never mentions? I kind of get why she might do what she said she is doing for me, but at the same time, I feel like she's hiding him from me. So eventually I write a long email, before we got married, explaining how I feel about it and that she doesn't have to respond. I just wanted her to know how I felt. She wasn't too happy about it and she never responded. We did go through marriage counseling and this came up. I told her about my ex's and it seemed like she understood a little more about where I'm coming from and sympathies's with me more.

So, the latest incident. Recently she got a facebook notification on her phone. I looked at her phone as the notification popped up and there was another notification there of either a text or an IM with a guys name. I didn't look too much at it and tried to ignore it, but eventually my jealousy got the better of me and I tried to see what it said later. Except it was gone. I had suspected that she was now deleting texts from the other guy she's friends with, but this in my mind pretty much confirms that she's been deleting texts. She uses an Android phone and I'm somewhat of an Android super geek. I'm about 95% positive that the green notification was a Hangouts notification. There's nothing else that would make a green notification on her phone. After a sleepless night for me, I text her the next day telling her what I saw and that's why I couldn't sleep. We communicate best through texts on subjects like this. I know it's not the best, but she shuts down when I talk about this stuff in person. She completely denied ever receiving a text/IM from any guy last night and said that there was nothing on her phone with that name in it. She could show me. So she doesn't know what I saw...

Honestly, my wife has never given me a reason not to trust her. Except for the things I've mentioned earlier, which could just be me being a crazy asshole... I really don't like her hiding stuff from me. I am always scared shitless about being cheated on. When I get hurt, my emotions go to really really low places.

So what do you guys think? Am I just a crazy jealous asshole that needs to quit snooping? Or does she need to be more open about this stuff to me? Or what? I've struggled with this stuff since I was old enough to date. I've heard many horror stories of co-workers hooking up. I've seen co-workers flirt with each other all too often and I'm afraid that one false move on my part and she'll go running to some guy for support. I love my wife more than anything. I feel like she is the most compatible woman I have ever been with. Since day one of dating, we have been inseparable and enjoy doing everything together and pretty much all the same things. I just have this one gripe with her, to an otherwise, what I think to be, perfect relationship.

tl;dr: I'm a super jealous type. My wife has guy friends and what I consider inappropriate relationships with a select few. She has mostly hid one 'friendly relationship' from me to 'not make me jealous' and is possibly hiding another one entirely from me. I'm 98% sure I saw a text from a guy that is now deleted for some reason. Am I a crazy jealous asshole? Or, is she wrong for trying to hide 'friendly relationships' of the opposite sex from me?