Alpha + Windows 10 = Boot FAIL

So, whilst setting up a fresh Alienware Alpha just purchased from Amazon (i5/8GB variant) I thought I'd be clever and go ahead with the complimentary Windows 10 upgrade. It seemed to install OK but when I later rebooted, the system would only start to boot but then fail over to the recovery mode menu. Of course like a dumbass I tried the reset option, and it got about 3% in (probably just far enough to completely hose the partition table) before also failing. Now the machine just boots in an endless loop and there no longer seem to be any recovery options anymore.

I was able to get into the firmware-stored diagnostic tools (nice job on those BTW) and all tests passed. Now I'm sitting around waiting for a factory image ISO to arrive via snail mail so I can attempt the arcane process of restoring this thing. I'm a saaaaad panda.