Not a 30/60/90 day streak post, but a post about my own milestone that I reached today.

We try too hard to find a goal that is as concrete as possible, and somehow the monthly/yearly goals for this challenge become the "go-to" for everyone. It somehow reflects our culture.

I have been doing nofap for almost two years now, and given a habit that I've had for almost 15 years I have come to terms that time is all everything in this universe takes, including breaking a habit.

I am on paid summer leave from work, and have been for 3 weeks now with 3 more weeks remaining (hey, I live in Sweden, don't blame me), and from my own and others experience it takes about 3 weeks into the time off for the brain to start somehow comprehending that the weekly process of the modern life is just an illusion we've pulled over ourselves.

And from that sidetrack I wanted to say that I've had many opportunities to battle my demons these few weeks, and progress has been made. This morning I began to start having these urges, but for the first time in my life I took a firm decision to just not pursue it. In all previous cases I would only force my way out of the urge but it would always come back. Sometimes an hour later, sometimes maybe a whole day. But one thing was always consistent: Every time it came back, it would always have more backup and wouldn't give up until I gave in.

But this time I actually took the decision and said no, and what happened half a day later was amazing. I got reminded of what happened this morning when I said no to these urges. I had a really balanced mind due to the amount of kickass energy I had gotten from my decision.

And from my more balanced mindset during I could look back at the old me and see my self so clearly and in such detail. I felt how my mind worked back then and I felt this distance. This huge distance from the person I am now, and the person that I was this morning. I am not that person anymore. I am myself, and what I make of myself is shaped for every moment of the present self for all the time that passes until you kick the bucket.

I am not going back to that 12 hour earlier me. This is what progress feels like. Thank you all for your support and inspiration throughout these two years. Love you all.