TIFU by crying in self-pity when gilded Redditors gave me the cold shoulder

My sotry is long and my fuck-up is pretty shallow, so bear with me, OK? I’m using a throwaway account here, but I have another that I use for my GoneWild activities – yes, I am a GW Girl.

In that GoneWild account, I have a year's worth of Reddit Gold. This was gifted to me by a guy I was talking with about a month or two ago. I was flabbergasted when I found out that he gifted me with it, because it was really unexpected, and I thanked him profusely. He just said that he wanted to show his appreciation for my posts and that he enjoyed our fun and flirty conversations. He told me to enjoy the Gold and all its benefits (although I have no idea what they’re for and I couldn’t really care less). Then two days later, my benefactor deleted his account.

So, since I have this Gold, I now have access to so-called exclusive sub called r/Lounge where gilded Redditors apparently hang out. I lurk the sub for a few weeks to see how the interactions there are. Like most exclusive subs, there is some type of close-mindedness and snobbishness among the people there, but there are also some friendly types. Most of them had received Gold for posting original content or making witty or insightful comments. I didn't really see any regular GW-posters there (or maybe they weren't active in that "Lounge") so I was a bit hesitant about posting anything in that sub.

Anyway, I thought I would make my presence known there by introducing myself in their weekly New Members Meet-up Mixers Thread. And immediately after posting, I knew a fuck-up was about to happen.

This was the post I made:

"Hello everyone! Been lurking on this sub for about a week, trying to figure out if I would be welcome here.

As can be gleaned from my username, I am a GoneWild Girl, and I also moderate a GW sub. I wasn't given gold for any particular post or comment, but my benefactor (who has since deleted his account) was just someone who appreciated my posts and the conversations that we had. He unexpectedly gifted me a year's worth of gold and said that I should enjoy it (since I had no idea what this Reddit gold was good for). Then 2 days later, he had [deleted].

So, that's my story of how I stumbled upon this elite group of people, who I hope will not shun my humble existence in your cool, classy Golden Lounge.

I honestly feel kinda like a fish out of water here. The only other exclusive sub I'm in is the r/GWLounge, where most of the GW men and women hang out, but that's a whole other story.

Thanks and I hope to enjoy my time here!"

Friendly enough, right? Not too needy or too eager to please?

Well, 8 hours later, I still had no response to my post, while other new members in the same thread were getting individual welcome messages left and right from other older members. My discomfort level was already thru the roof and I really wanted to delete the darn post.

Then, I get one message: "Welcome! I have a feeling you would like to know about r/GildedGoneWild."

That was the only message I got. So, I decided to PM the message sender. I told him/her:

"Thank you for welcoming me at r/Lounge. I never knew that r/GildedGoneWild existed. I will check it out.

I guess my feeling of being a fish out of water in this Gold Lounge has been confirmed... I am probably out of my element here. I'm usually quite a self-confident person (one has to be if they choose to 'go wild' right?) but by that single post here, my confidence level has dropped a bit. I definitely did not feel welcome.

It's like I have been invited to a swanky party, but I'm ignored and no one talks to me all night because I'm not dressed right (or probably in this scenario, undressed). Then when finally someone does talk to me, it is to politely show me that my proper place is in another party somewhere else. Ouch.

Nevertheless, thank you for the kindness you showed me. At least I was not totally ignored, right?

I think I'll show myself out of this Gold Lounge. Have a good day/evening! :)"

And this is when the fuck up happened. I actually cried. And not just one or two silent tears down my face, but full-blown Kim-Kardashian-ugly-cry. It was an absolute pity party for one.

I felt like my self-confidence had taken a pummeling, beaten black and blue. And I know it is absolutely STUPID to feel like that, considering that I don't even know these people, so why should I even care if they didn't want me in their sub, right?

Anyway, the other guy/girl eventually responded to my PM and he/she said: "I don't think you should feel excluded. I didn't mean to imply that the Lounge wasn't the right place for you. I was only sharing another place you might also enjoy. Gold opens up many doors, and you don't have to choose just one. I hope you'll stick around and keep posting in the Lounge too. Welcome. :)"

So, that's that. Yeah, I was too sensitive and took it too personally. So stupid of me. Anyway, I deleted my post in that Lounge, and unsubscribed from it. BTW, I still had not gotten any replies and the one message I got was gone. The people there seem to look down on GW Redditors and think that we earned our Gold through sleazy ways. I know I didn’t, and I don't need those people judging me.

TLDR: GW-girl with Reddit Gold thought she would be welcomed in Gold Lounge. Got ignored and was directed to another sub for GW folks. Fucked up by being too sensitive and indulging in self-pity crying.