Met a girl, talked, hooked up... now she ghosted?

Hi there. I'm 32/m, kind of socially stupid, and in need of some advice.

I met a girl about 3 months ago at karaoke at the local bar. At first I'd catch her looking at me, and the next time I saw her got the nerve to go make small talk, and as time went on, we'd talk more and more. I figured this was just a new "bar friend", but she's pretty and interesting, so I was just enjoying it.

Fast forward a bit, and on a very late night out, I got the balls to ask her for her number. Got it right away, no hesitation. I texted her maybe 2 days later, chatted a while, nothing serious, kept the conversation fun and light. This went on for a 2 or 3 weeks, just texting when we had time (we both have odd work schedules), but still keeping in contact when we weren't hanging out at the bar. I know, we sound like drunks...

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, we were both out with separate groups of friends, and started texting around 3AM. She asks what I'm doing, both our nights were winding down, and SHE pitched going back to my place. We talked a bit while sitting on my bed, ended up having sex, cuddling afterward, then I drove her home so we could both get ready for work.

She texted me as soon as I got to work, "apologizing" for making me tired, etc., just the cutesy stuff people do.

I asked her out on an actual date the prior week, but she had to work. Since she told me her schedule, I backtracked in my head, and it wasn't BS. So, I figured "last night went awesome, why not give it another go?"

Well, she kind of lost her shizz on me, saying how she's not looking for a relationship (she said that previously, and I'm not exactly looking, just seeing what evolves naturally) and she has a lot going on. She's looking for a new place, and her family is involved in some legal issues, so I get that, but it doesn't entirely excuse it in my head.

Anyway, she apologized 2 days later, and I dropped the bomb that I'd started to develop feelings for her, but didn't want to push her, and she said "maybe we should just be friends for now". My heart sank, and we didn't really say much after that. I texted her a few days later while we were both working 3rd shift, we talked about our usual stuff: indie bands, shows we were excited to go to, some small talk. Then I texted the next day, no answer. 2 days later, nothing (she was at a concert that night with one of her friends I work with).

EDIT: Adding this bit: I haven't texted her since, nor have I seen her at karaoke since she's working that night right now, so no contact.

Is there any hope at salvaging things since she's one of the few people I've actually been genuinely interested in beyond a one-night thing?

I'd be glad to clarify anything I've left out if there's any questions, and appreciate the answers/advice that does come in.

Posted Aug 12, 2015, 4:11 PM UTC

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