I allowed my NDad to attend my wedding on Sunday...

Soooo, here's my post-wedding check in!

We had a blast, everyone was pleasant, even my parents were able to bury an old feud with their daughter in law to sit and talk together. But let's get to the juicy narcissist stuff.

My parents got in Friday and initially complained about their airbnb place. It had no air conditioning so it wasn't the ice box they were used to. Also, no tv, oh noes! So I said, "Well, I put you literally right on the lake so the idea was that you'd go outside...you do know they offer use of a boat and fishing supplies, right?" Didn't let it bother me.

My dad arrived 30 minutes late to the venue for rehearsal on Saturday. Didn't let it bother me, either. He apparently dinged his car on a decorative boulder - that was clearly visible, mind you - on his way out.

Sunday, I told my family to show up at our airbnb location for preparation as the photographer would be there. My dad brings my mom along with her stuff, does not bring his tux or my brother's because he can't take directions. Now, you might think he was just being a narc but my older brother said, "He's taking so many pain pills these days, he's probably doped up all the time." So no prep shots of dad or brother. Whatever. Only mildly annoyed me. Thinking back to his dramatic displays of utter pain during run of the mill headaches, I am wondering if he is exaggerating his back pain and subsequently taking more pills to make it seem believable. Can't prove it though so that's neither here nor there. My mom has bought it hook, line, and sinker though.

After the ceremony, he disappears to his car because his back supposedly hurts from all the laying around he's been doing. What a hard life! My Mom was also miffed because I kept scolding her for taking pictures when I expressly told her to stay out of my photographer's way. When I saw her making ugly faces and whispering to my brother before being served dinner, I will admit I felt angry. I tried to calm down because I do fully believe that she and my brother are both on the Autism spectrum but goddamn Mom, put your plastic camera down! She was also mad that, after my dad had already walked away from our post-ceremony photoshoot, she tried to demand that I get a shot with him alone; he was already gone and people were pissed that we hadn't served food yet. The photog said he could catch any shots he missed later but my Mom, being the way she is, didn't understand. She got over it fairly fast though, they got their shot, and the night continued.

We timed everything incorrectly so people began leaving before our first dance or parent dance. We decided to roll with it anyways, we didn't care if anyone watched. This seemed to piss my dad off who, I imagine, wanted to be a diva and have all eyes on him. Right when we went to start the father/daughter/mother/son dance, he started walking away. I asked if he didn't want to do it, he said not to worry about it in that tone of voice that was like, "Oh, I'm so hurt, you did me wrong, but don't worry about it." I made him do it anyways. He then claimed that he wasn't saying no to the dance, that he was just going to piss. Yeah, uhhuh.

As I walked them to their car, my dad got all narc dramatic and said, "I don't mean ta ruin yer night but I just wanted ta let ya know that I'm gonna sue these people."

"Why?"

"Because when I pulled out yesterday I hit one of their boulders. And I know that's horseshit, they shouldn't use those for people who never been here before. I'm gonna report it to my insurance, tell them I want them to pay, and if they won't I'm gonna talk to mah lawyer."

"Can you at least wait until we get our deposit back? They owe us $200."

He said he would. Whatever, I can't stop him, I don't want involved.

Day after the wedding, he calls me ranting about his car again, says he "knows for a fact" that using those boulders is illegal, and asks "how much did you pay for that dump". I just said, "I don't think it's a dump. I loved it and so did everyone else." So he switched stories, said he found our ceremony impressive. Then he says he also told the venue that their beer was shit. They make the beer on site. Awesome job, dad. You're such a charmer. lol

Today, he calls me during work to ask if I had talked to the venue about the damage to his car. Me?! I never offered, he never asked, and now he's assuming I am going to be the one to call and throw that threat? Fuck that shit. I told him I didn't want to be involved because we were kind of hoping we could show our faces around there again and we hadn't gotten our deposit back yet. He says, "Ooooooh, you don't want involved, I got ya" like wow, I am being so selfish. He just said, "I understand, you don't want involved, I'll talk to ya later" and then quietly hangs up, no goodbye. lol

The venue has not contacted us about our deposit yet and it's been 3 days. They seemed miffed the day after but my dad insists he hasn't said anything. Worst case scenario, he pisses them off, we lose $200, I let my dad annoy the shit out of them. Win win.

At this point, I am mildly mad because he's a fucking lunatic and fucking lunatics piss me off no matter what. But I'm also amused. I'm writing everything down in case I can ever publish the last 6 months of my life because everyone seems to get a kick out of hearing my stories. I figure at the very least, I'll have a detailed account of my wedding story when I'm old and senile. /shrug

TL;DR My dad wants to sue our venue because he can't drive and swiped a rock in the parking lot. He's mad because I am not answering his call to arms because I think he's pathetic. He told them their beer tastes like shit and called the place a dump. I'm so amused I'm writing everything down to see if I could ever publish a book some day. All in all, I'm happy with the day and I feel generally at peace.