Do your' worst, you filthy animals.

You're hoping to grow into your face and develop a certain Kenny Loggins-like appeal but old age will get you first.

Looks like Nathan's Fillion' ill.

You were that guy in high school that thought he was super attractive and popular but everyone generally disliked because you wouldn't shut the fuck up about how well you could play your trumpet and how you fucked literally every girl in band class and were actually proud of it even though your sister was one of them. You were also obsessed with your part of Lysander in the spring play and would try to swoon girls with shakespearean sonnets but they really all thought you were fucking dense and just as creepy as the kid in the back of math class who talked to himself who you were also friends with or well at least you thought you guys were friends.

good to see you're laying off the meth Macaulay Culkin

Hey look it's Kenny Roger's autistic son he had with his sister.

goddamn, your widow's peak is so extreme that upper-class white kids are planning to summit it next season

Your awesome hair is probably disappointed with everything below it.

My eyes are drawn to the news paper article before that garbage fire sitting on your shoulders

Fully embracing the 80s blow-dried look, but still unwilling to leave the 70s butt-cut behind

Stop the charade, we know you can't read that newspaper. That newspaper written at an elementary school level of vocab.